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Showing posts with label PROTECTIVE MOTHERS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PROTECTIVE MOTHERS. Show all posts

Saturday, May 24, 2014

THIS LOST GENERATION OF MOTHERS AND THE RISE OF FATHERHOOD!

A recent article in Connecticut Magazine "The Changing Face of Fatherhood" by Ray Bendici talks about the fact that more fathers than ever before are playing a role in their children's lives. 

In Connecticut, they are doing this with the support of the John S. Martinez Initiative which is, according to Bendici, "a statewide effort to support and promote the positive interaction of fathers with their children."  What the Initiative does is provide fathers with support in their roles as fathers while at the same time assisting them with custody matters, job searches, and other skills. 

While this article describes what is happening at  the Madonna Place, there are similar organizations like this dotted all over the State which assist father's in obtaining access to their children. 

In addition, there is an official interagency agreement in the State of Connecticut where a group of State agencies have signed onto a common understanding that they will promote the interests of fathers.  These agencies, as listed on the John S. Martinez Fatherhood Initiative are as follows:  the Departments of Children & Families, Correction, Education, Labor, Mental Health & Addiction Services, and Public Health; Judicial Branch Support Enforcement Services and Court Support Services Divisions; CT Commission on Children; CT Coalition Against Domestic Violence; and Legal Aid Services. 

It is not surprising then, that articles touting fatherhood, and describing state support for fatherhood have sprung up such as this one in the Connecticut Magazine.  The end result of this kind of social engineering promoting the interests of fathers is that, as Ray Bendici states "Connecticut fathers are more involved in their children's lives than ever before." 

They are so much more involved that, in fact, they are beginning to replace mothers as the primary caretakers of their children in record numbers. 

Thus, a July 3, 2013 article in Business Week entitled "Daddies Are the New Mommies" by Sheelah Kolhatkar reports on a Pew study indicating that "In 1960, about 14% of single parent households were headed by fathers, today almost one-quarter (24%) are." 

In other words, according to Gretchen Livingston, of the Pew Research Center, "Almost one fourth of single parents are single dads."  The Pew Study further indicates that there has been a nine-fold increase in households with single dads, "from fewer than 300,000 in 1960 to 2.6 million in 2011.   

According to Caroline Kitchener, author of "The Rise of the Single Dad" which appeared in the February 2014 Atlantic Monthly, what these numbers represent is "a rising divorce rate over the past half-century, along with the increasing frequency of parents never marrying at all; and the growing societal acceptance of father's as primary caregivers." 

For activists in the CT Judicial Branch, this also speaks to a growing trend in Family Court where good mothers who have long been the primary caretakers of their children have found themselves edged out of the lives of their children by their more powerful, socially and economically connected ex-husbands.  This is because such men have considerably greater financial resources and a tougher mental edge acquired through their familiarity with corporate political environments and with systems which make them extremely effective during contentious custody battles. 

Not only do these men end up as the primary caretakers of their children, or the custodial parent, they are often able, with the support of highly paid mental health professionals and complicit family relations personnel, to literally eliminate these mothers from the lives of their children, even though such mothers were, at one time, hands on, at home parents for years. 

Make no mistake--at the present time, the extremely father friendly environment of Family Court is a very dangerous place to be for women and their children. 

In fact, the Pew study points specifically to the U.S. Judicial System as the reason why, increasingly, fit mothers are losing custody to fathers, who, prior to the court action, played only a cursory role in the day to day parenting of their children. 

As Kitchener states, earlier in the 20th century, Family Courts would act according to what was then considered to be the best interest of the children, i.e. placing the children in the care of the mother who had long been raising them.  However, since the early 2000s at least 35 states have shifted to the presumption of joint custody.  The intention behind this legislation was to encourage both parents to become involved in the lives of their children on a 50/50 basis.  

However, instead of encouraging both parents to share their time with their children equally, what has happened as a result of joint custody laws is that there has been "a dramatic increase in the number of single fathers."  In other words, legislation that was intended to introduce parity between mothers and fathers in the care of children has simply led to circumstances where Family Court judges have handed over sole custody to fathers. 

Of course, this could only be expected where each of the States are receiving millions and millions of dollars from the Department of Health and Human Services to support men in their custody court cases, and where community services to further the interests of fathers such as the paradoxically named Madonna Place are located in practically every county throughout the country. 

Further, It is interesting to note that we do not have an equivalent Motherhood Rights' Initiative, and we do not have an interagency agreement to promote mother's interests, etc. in the State of Connecticut.  Instead, we are like American College campuses before title IX forced Phys Ed Departments to provide equal opportunity for female athletes. 

What is interesting about this situation is that single fathers do much better economically than single mothers do--only 24% live at or below the poverty line versus 43% of single mothers.  Further, according to Noah Berlatsky who also wrote an article on the subject in the July 2013 Atlantic Monthly, "Single father-headed households have a median income of $40,000--well above the $26,000 for single mother-headed households." 

Thus, even in their roles as single father's, men are able to wield considerable privilege economically. 

It is unclear what the outcome of this shift in parenting roles will have on the lives of children.  Intuitively, it makes sense that there are inherent difficulties involved when young children are yanked from the homes they have shared with their mothers for the majority of their lives.  These difficulties can only get worse when they are then placed in the care of fathers who are newly adjusting to their roles as primary caretakers, and often simply transfer them to the care of grandparents or nannies.  Then when you add to this the increasingly common situation where the mothers are barred from seeing those children ever again, it makes sense that these children would experience considerable psychological damage. 

We are all aware of the frequently cited studies which indicate that children suffer when fathers are excluded from the lives of their children.  However, no such similar studies have ever been done to determine whether excluding mothers from the lives of their children would lead to similar results. 

I assume nobody thought it was important to conduct such studies before going ahead and eliminating mothers because replacing them with fathers seemed like such an overwhelmingly good idea to the folks that implemented the policy, they didn't figure exploring the situation in advance made sense! 

Clearly, the best situation is when both parents share equally in the lives of their children when both parents are psychologically fit and time with each parent benefits the health and safety of the child.  But the adversarial, free for all environment of the present Family Court system does not seem to encourage these kinds of positive outcomes.  Clearly, there are no safeguards to prevent angry, controlling, and abusive ex husbands from using the children as pawns to destroy mothers through the divorce process.

In bulletins about Family Court, I have frequently seen Connecticut referred to as a "father-friendly State".  I have no way of determining whether that is true for sure, although I can state anecdotally that I receive inquiries on a regular basis from mothers who are struggling to maintain their parental rights in the face of false accusations of PAS and mental illnesses they never had before they set foot in Family Court.  

Many activists approaching the legislature this year talked about the vital importance of maintaining records of the kinds of cases that are appearing in family court and tracking the outcomes of these cases.  This is the only accurate way to know what is going on.  Until then, the numbers I have reported here tell me a very alarming story of the ongoing disenfranchisement of mothers throughout the United States and Connecticut which we cannot afford to ignore any further. 

Saturday, March 22, 2014

ROBERT FRANKLIN GETS IT WRONG ON PARENTAL ALIENATION, HEAPS MORE ABUSE ON A WRONGED MOTHER AND HER CHILD!

Recent studies indicate that when abusive fathers sue for custody in family court, 70% of these fathers end up with sole custody of the children they have abused. 
 
How do they do it?  
 
Apparently, such fathers use false accusations of Parental Alienation Syndrome as a means to wrest custody from fit mothers who are trying to protect their children from abuse.  This is particularly true of what occurred in "Anna Cooper's" case which was recently highlighted in a moving article by Tom Stelloh published in Aljazeera on January 24, 2014 entitled "Do courts use a controversial theory to punish mothers who allege abuse?

See the associated link below:

http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2014/1/24/does-a-controversialdiagnosishelpfathersdodgeabusecharges.html

Anna Cooper is not the only mother who has reported this happening to her.  Many other mothers have come forward stating the same thing. 
 
However, Instead of showing outrage at this kind of fraudulent behavior on the part of abusive fathers, Attorney Robert Franklin, an extremist father's rights advocate, has used Anna Cooper's willingness to come forward as a excuse to direct a personal attack against her in a blog entitled "Al Jazeera Channels NOW, Gets It Wrong on Parental Alienation."

See the associated link below:

https://nationalparentsorganization.org/blog/21563-al-jazeera-channels-now-gets-it-wrong-on-parental-alienation 
 
No, Attorney Franklin.  Aljazeera didn't get it wrong.  You did!

So what is this Parental Alienation Syndrome that abusive men have been using in widespread custody switching schemes?  Parental Alienation Syndrome is a theory proposed by psychiatrist Dr. Richard A. Gardener which claimed that some parents try to undermine their children's relationship with the other parent, typically the noncustodial parent, by making false allegations about that parent, most often in the form of abuse allegations. 
 
Further, according to Tom Stelloh, author of the original Aljazeera article, Dr. Gardener theorized that "custody-related fabrications [of abuse] constituted a kind of hysteria" and described the mothers he accused of parental alienation syndrome as being "sadistic" animals who "literally fight to the death in order to safeguard their progeny."  Their goal, he wrote was "the total elimination of the father." 
 
Dr. Richard Gardener's recommendation on how to deal with so called parental alienation, i.e. immediately switching custody to the father and denying the mother all access to the children, is quite striking.  
 
Essentially, his recommendation, in an interesting role reversal, was to have the court order the father do to the mother exactly what the mother was accused of doing--in other words cut the mother off from all access to the children.  How ironic! If children need both parents, how is it acceptable to eliminate the mothers from the lives of the children, particularly if they have acted as primary custodians of those children up to that time?

Anna Cooper became a victim of this theory when she reported that her son, Ben, was showing signs of sexual abuse. As journalist Tom Stelloh explained it, "Ben returned from a visit with his father--who had a four-days-a-week custody arrangement--with bruises and abrasions that he couldn't explain.  After returning from another visit, Ben asked Cooper for help going to the bathroom.  When she discovered blood on his toilet paper, she rushed him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with anal fissures." 
 
The child's pediatrician, Dr. Richard Whelan, later confirmed that sexual abuse had occurred as did Dr. Eli Newberger, founder of the child-protection unit at Boston Children's Hospital, and also Dr. Joyanna Silberg, a psychologist and child-trauma specialist at  the prestigious Sheppard Pratt hospital in Maryland. 
 
Once the sexual abuse was diagnosed by experts in the field, Ms. Cooper expected that her son would be protected from this abuse.  Instead, she faced an extensive coverup starting with the child's GAL.  In her words, "[Ben] came home from his father's house with his anus torn to bloody shreds, and an infection in his penis that went untreated because [GAL] Maureen Murphy threatened my son's pediatrician, tampered with evidence, his medical documents, perjured herself, and removed my ability to get medical care for my child." 
 
Continuing further, she stated, "I watched in horror as the infection went systemic while I was disallowed, under threat of never seeing my son again, even to seek medical treatment for his injuries, all so Murphy [the GAL] could prevent documentation of his badly infected genitals." 
 
As a result of this kind of obstruction (and this is just one example--there were others), Ms. Cooper was unable to present to the Court vital information in regard to the abuse of her child and ended up being accused of--you guessed it--Parental Alienation Syndrome and placed on supervised visitation.  Then, since she could not afford to pay for that visitation, she ended up being denied all access to her child.  At this point, she has not seen him in over a year.

It is not surprising, then, granted the widespread abuse of the diagnosis and its general lack of foundation in any kind of legitimate science, that the American Psychiatric Association has not included the diagnosis of Parental Alienation Syndrome in the DSM-5 despite considerable pressure from men's advocacy groups.  
 
Not only did they determine that there was no scientific basis for the syndrome, opponents of the diagnosis were concerned that, as I have reported, it was being used in family court as a means to take custody from parents who allege abuse, particularly protective mothers. 
 
It didn't help that Dr. Richard Gardener generated additional controversy on his own by appearing to use the diagnosis to condone pedophilia having made such statements as, "At the present time, the sexually abused child is generally considered to be the victim, though the child may initiate sexual encounters by 'seducing' the adult." or "There is a whole continuum that must be considered here, from those children who were coerced and who gained no pleasure (and might even be considered to have been raped) to those who enjoyed immensely (with orgastic responses) the sexual activities."
 
Despite these very serious problems with the PAS diagnosis and its lack of inclusion in the DSM-5, in his recent blog on the subject, Attorney Robert Franklin states that Parental Alienation Syndrome must exist because he says it is in the DSM-5 but not under that specific name. 
 
Ok, so what he actually means is that many of the truly fanatical proponents of Parental Alienation Syndrome refused to accept the fact that the DSM-5 didn't include PAS so what they did was pick and peck through the book and found a few embellished diagnoses which they state friendly editors clandestinely included in the DSM-5 so that litigants wishing to claim PAS could have something legitimate to use in Family Court.  If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you as well! 
 
Attorney Franklin also mentions some book by Dr. Robert Bernet which he claims "contains some 700 citations in contemporary science on parental alienation from over 40 countries..." and he also mentions that PAS has been "recognized in at least 500 law cases and numerous statutes." 
 
Likewise, I am sure, discredited diagnoses such as Recovered Memory Syndrome or Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personality disorder) also generated considerable attention in their day, but that still didn't make them any more legitimate. 
 
This is not to say that there are not anecdotal situations where one parent viewed the other as alienating him or her from the children, but this does not make such observations scientific, or articles based on such observations scientific.  There is no doubt that many of us have had the other parent interfere with our access to our children.  Still, that is simply bad behavior, not necessarily mental illness of any kind. 
 
It never fails that with every decade there are new social movements and theories which generate a whole new bunch of quack ideas and fads that seem really legitimate at the time, but which eventually fade out, hopefully without causing too much damage to the rest of us. 
 
I believe that PAS is one of them.

Attorney Robert Franklin faults Anna Cooper for contributing to the Aljazeera article anonymously.  But you can be sure that if she used her own name, he would criticize her for inappropriately exposing her child to public scrutiny.  Damned if you do, and damned if you don't!

Attorney Robert Franklin further states that Anna Cooper's case is not credible because "court appointed experts [plural]" found the allegations of abuse to be untrue.  Yet, the only court appointed expert he mentions is Dr. Kenneth Robson.  
 
Since Attorney Franklin isn't from Connecticut, I can understand he wouldn't be familiar with Dr. Robson, but those of us who do live in Connecticut are very familiar with this psychiatrist's notorious reputation for malfeasance in child custody cases throughout the State. 
 
Not only did Dr. Kenneth Robson deny that there was sexual abuse in Ms. Cooper's case, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, he also denied that there was sexual abuse in the Linda Wiegand case where the father was accused of sexually abusing her two boys--Ben and Jon. 
 
When the Massameno Report came out in 1998 confirming that the abuse had occurred, the Institute of Living where Dr. Robson worked was sufficiently convinced of his wrongdoing that they chose to sever their relationship with him. 
 
I am personally aware of a recent case in the last few years in which Dr. Robson was again the custody evaluator.  In this case the mother also accused the father of sexually abusing their children.  In his evaluation, Dr. Robson denied that the sexual abuse had taken place and insisted that the father was a loving father.  He then recommended sole custody to the father. One year later, DCF removed the children from the home permanently based upon the sexual abuse of the children. 
 
As an additional note, even though the Institute of Living discontinued its relationship with Dr. Kenneth Robson, up until at least 2011 Robson continued to represent himself fraudulently as being affiliated with the Institute of Living even though he hadn't been for many years.

Attorney Robert Franklin states, "Again, for the umpteenth time, those who claim parental alienation to be a fiendish ruse by abusive fathers to wrest custody from "protective mothers' cannot come up with a single instance in which that actually occurred." 
 
Ok, well I just gave you three. 
 
I will also add to that four, my own case, one in which, among other things, my ex husband deliberately medically neglected my children.  When I went to the GAL and reported to her what was going on, she answered me by saying, "They all say they are being abused."  In other words, using the all or nothing language of Attorney Franklin, "all" mothers who say they are being abused are making it up. 
 
During the course of my divorce, which took several years, my ex continued to abuse me and also continued to medically neglect my children.  The GAL, my own attorneys, the trial court did nothing to stop any of it.
 
Why? 
 
Because they were programmed to believe that any mother who seeks to protect herself or her children is just trying to get back at her ex husband, or simply attempting to parentally alienate the children from their father. 
 
In other words, as Attorney Robert Franklin so eloquently stated in his article "Of Teflon and Velcro:  Constructing a High-Impact Narrative", the myth overcame the reality, and for the Court and all the professionals involved in my case, the fact that my ex was abusing me and that he was causing damage to my children's health which could have lifelong consequences for them, meant nothing in the face of the concern that the legal system clearly felt was ten times more important, i.e. their naïve investment in a fake mental health diagnosis that is so lacking in credibility it isn't even included in the DSM. 
 
What a travesty! 
 
Not only are there the cases that I have detailed up to this point, I am contacted on a regular basis by mothers with well documented cases of domestic violence who are being accused falsely of having Parental Alienation Syndrome. Despite the frequent statements to the contrary, judges and attorneys throughout Connecticut are well aware of Parental Alienation and use the diagnosis freely as a means to switch custody from mothers who have long acted as primary caretakers of their children to fathers with histories of abuse.

This happens despite the fact that, as far as I know, Judges have no statutory basis for doing so.
 
Even where there has been no abuse and no alienation, but father now wants custody, the slightest hint that the mother may have been critical of the father or let an ill considered remark slip in an unguarded moment is enough to cause that mother complete loss of custody, despite the fact that she has been primary caretaker of the children for many years.  See the many cases I have reported on my blog under the label "cases in the news" for examples of that.
 
The additional irony, of course, in this highly contentious debate, is that as long as men's rights advocates continue to deny the existence of abuse, there is no way to establish whether Parental Alienation Syndrome truly exists or not because the definition has been corrupted. More specifically, Parental Alienation Syndrome can only exist absent abuse, but if you maintain a rigid policy of denying that abuse exists, there is no way to establish whether you have a legitimate case.

I have tremendous sympathy for parents who have genuinely experienced situations where the other parent has blocked their access to their children, and who use the language of Parental Alienation Syndrome in order to explain what happened to them.  Again, ironically, Anna Cooper is one such parent who could easily claim that kind of languaging.  But attempting to legitimize a theory which is being used on an ongoing basis to enable abusive parents to continue to abuse their children--that is simply unacceptable. 

Monday, January 6, 2014

CRYING FOUL, PROTECTIVE MOTHERS GROUPS CRITIQUE DIVORCECORP MOVIE!

"Divorce Corp. [DC] is a film which exposes family court corruption and dysfunction, which almost everyone agrees with.

However, their hidden agenda is the promotion of Forced Equal Parenting [FEP] (otherwise known as presumptive joint custody). They are asserting that FEP is the solution to the corruption. The problem is that simply is not true. FEP will not end the corruption but it will harm children by forcing them to live in dangerous and abusive situations. [See:
The Truth About Equal Parenting]

They are also disseminating other misinformation to the public including that false allegations of abuse are supposedly common and judges are falling for them. This is also not true. It is a camouflaged way of saying what fathers' rights groups have been alleging for decades--that parents (usually mothers) are fabricating abuse because they want to "alienate" the children (usually from fathers). Hence the Parental Alienation Theory that has been so widely supported by fathers' rights groups which has caused hundreds of thousands of children to be given to abusers. [See:
The Truth About False Allegations]

DC is asserting that they are "gender neutral", but it is obvious from the fact that their misinformation matches fathers' rights groups propaganda, and the fact that Glenn Sacks, a leader of the fathers' rights movement is featured in it, that this movie is simply the latest strategy in the fathers' rights campaign. The age-old Trojan Horse war strategy is being used to sneak biased messages to the public which are harmful to women and children. There was no effort to cover women's and children's side of the story. To promote it as gender neutral is disingenuous at best."


http://boycottdivorcecorp.com/


Go online and watch the movie on YouTube or see it at your local theater.  What is your opinion?  I'd be interested in hearing your views in the comment section below! 

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

JEWISH-AMERICAN MOTHER FALSELY ACCUSED, LOSES CUSTODY OF HER DAUGHTER!



It might be amusing, if it wasn't true:

Maryland woman files for divorce from husband, who has 2nd degree assault conviction for domestic violence. Four-day old infant plucked from her breast, as she begins 13 months in solitary confinement, now dead. Maryland woman added to Harford County's Ten Most Wanted List.


[Queue the Governors of New York State and Maryland.]

 
After six years of marriage filled with documented instances of domestic violence against her, Valerie Carlton divorced Russell Carlton in early 2006. They have one daughter, Winnifer Hope Carlton "Winnie".
 
 
About one year later, Mr. Carlton was awarded sole custody of the child after trial. False testimony was allowed into the record. Positive reports as to Valerie's character and fitness were considered to be "superficial" by the court.


For more information, take a look at the following link:

http://valeriecarlton.com/

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

THREATS OF RAPE ON FACEBOOK AGAINST PROTECTIVE MOTHERS

Maine attorney Michael Waxman has launched a facebook attack against Protective Mother Lori Handrahan resulting in threats of rape and sodomy against her, primarily coming from Jeff Pyle, a Colorado man with a grudge.  '

While Sunny Kelley in Connecticut and most other protective parents' stories of judicial abuse and destruction remain unknown and unheard, where the judicial system covers up their stories so they are not believed, Lori Handrahan's courageous efforts to save her child, Mila, have resulted in a very high profile case garnering national attention, thanks to the internet and the outrage of thousands of people across the country.

Sadly, despite their strenuous efforts to save their children, and to obtain justice for their children, neither Lori Handrahan and Sunny Kelley have seen their children for months.

Hell for Lori Handrahan came in the form of her daughter, Mila, being raped by her husband, Igor Malenko, a foreigner who has now apparently gained citizenship under questionable circumstances.  Like most mothers abused by the family court system, Lori Handrahan technically never lost custody of the her daughter, Mila, yet the trial court did nothing to protect Mila from ongoing sexual abuse.

At this time, according to the "Saving Mila" Facebook page, Mila continues to be sexually abused, the abusive father has received free lawyer services over several years, and the girl is barred from leaving this dangerous situation.  Waxman has said many times that his estimated cost for providing legal services to Mila's father is approximately $250,000.  Now, to divert attention from this criminal activity, Waxman has escalated the slander against Lori Handrahan and threatens to have her committed and jailed.

Then, in a recent facebook discussion, Jeff Pyle, a Waxman supporter (mentioned above) took it upon himself to sexually berate women who were discussing the Handrahan case and threatened to "come back there" to find, rape and sodomize them.  The post has now been deleted.  But so has a post defending the women by Investigative Reporter Keith Harmon Snow been deleted and Facebook has informed Mr. Snow that HE is under investigation for his post.

There is also additional abuse online directed towards Lori Handrahan in the Waxman created STEAM website which reports disingenuously on child abuse cases largely committed my mothers and/or their boyfriends and featuring Lori as their central news item.

Online sexism is rampant, but the problem is systemic and institutionalized  sexism and support for domestic violence arises due to online media's attempts to be social friendly and compatible to as many users as possible.  While censoring some people and interests, these social media often end up punishing the victims and supporting the abusers.