PROTECTIVE MOTHERS, UNPROTECTED HEARTS, PART I

It happened just after I filed for divorce.  I was in my kitchen stacking the dishwasher, struggling with thoughts about what would happen to my children, when I found that I was having trouble breathing.  I felt as though my heart was skipping beats, and the blood seemed to slosh back and forth in my veins. 

Immediately, I told a friend who was in the kitchen with me and she drove me to the nearest supermarket where I used one of their public blood pressure machines.  My blood pressure was well off the charts and my pulse was over 100.

In the months and years that followed as my divorce case crawled its way through Family Court and I experienced the roller coaster ride of a custody battle over my children, I continued to make my trips to the supermarket.  Eventually, I began to take blood pressure medication, and thus began my ongoing battle to maintain the health of my heart. 

To be honest, I had never had a serious medical problem until I ended up in family court.  But as soon as the divorce broke out with the accompanying bullying and harassment from my ex, and added to it my fear of what he was willing to do in order to get custody, and what he was willing to do even if he didn't get custody, simply to frighten and horrify me, it was then that I truly discovered what it means to be an ongoing invalid. 

Literally, the custody battle over my children broke my heart.  And, I am sure, it breaks the hearts of numerous other Protective Mothers who literally put their lives on the line in order to save their children. 

I was lucky because I had a few good friends who had also had heart problems, so instead of ignoring the problem I was able to address it immediately.  That is why I am here today able to tell you my story. 

However, even though I was able to obtain blood pressure medication which lowered my risk, I still didn't have a clue regarding how serious the problem was.  Even after the initial warning incident in the kitchen, I continued to ignore my symptoms and mistook them for something else. 

Every once in a while as time went on, I kept on experiencing severe back pain just around my bra area.  And what I thought was that the bra was too tight.  When I took off the bra and still had the pain, I just thought that I had back pain and probably needed to see a chiropractor.  It never occurred to me that what I was experiencing was one of the most prominent symptoms of heart attack.

 

So, to make sure that you don't make the same mistake that I made, let me list for you all the symptoms of heart attack:

1.  Discomfort, tightness, uncomfortable pressure, fullness, squeezing in the center of the chest lasting more than a few minutes, or comes and goes;

2.  Crushing chest pain;

3.  Pressure or pain that spreads to the shoulders, neck, upper back, jaw, or arms;

4.  Dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, or nausea;

5.  Clammy sweats, heart flutters, or paleness;

6.  Unexplained feelings of anxiety, fatigue or weakness--especially with exertion;

7.  Heartburn, indigestion, stomach or abdominal pain;

8.  Shortness of breath and difficulty breathing;

9.  An impending sense of doom;

10.  Prolonged pain in the upper abdomen. 

It is also important to keep in mind that the fact that you aren't feeling any pain doesn't mean you don't have a heart problem.  Some women have no symptoms when their hearts aren't functioning, but they are still at risk for the damage to the heart caused by heart problems. 

If you think you might have a heart problem, even if you have the slightest bit of concern, be sure to make an appointment with a cardiologist to check yourself out.  A doctor can give you an EKG (electrocardiogram) to see if you have any heart problems, or else he could do a blood enzyme test or conduct a cardiac stress test (a workout on a treadmill that traces how well your heart is performing). 

And just to emphasize how important it is to do all these tests, my brother in law suspected he might have had a heart attack.  So he went into the hospital and had the EKG and the stress test which indicated everything was normal.  They were all ready to discharge him when they received the results from the enzyme test which indicated that he'd had a heart attack.  They ended up doing surgery and the doctor came out of the operation and said that the veins to my brother in law's heart were 90% blocked. 

So, don't neglect yourself.  Make sure you take your heart health seriously and have yourself checked regularly while you are involved in a custody battle.  If you end up ill and in a hospital unable to function who is going to suffer for that--yes, you, but also your children.  Don't be so focused on your children that you forget that your wellbeing is essential to their wellbeing.  Be good to your heart.  Protect yourselves, Protect your hearts, and by doing so Protect your Children!