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Showing posts with label STOP ABUSE CAMPAIGN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label STOP ABUSE CAMPAIGN. Show all posts

Sunday, July 10, 2016


"The obvious answer is Tony Moreno, the father who manipulated the court to give him the access he needed to kill his son. Aaden’s mother recently filed a claim against the State of Connecticut for its failures that led to her son’s murder. When speaking about such an overwhelming human tragedy, we tend not to think about the financial price, but cost is important when considering public policy..."


Sunday, August 9, 2015


Barry Goldstein:

"Dr. Dianne Bartlow interviewed some of the best judges in the United States about the court response to the many murders of children by fathers involved in custody disputes. Some judges suggested a likely explanation for so many dangerous decisions that I believe influenced the original mistaken ruling in the Kelly Rutherford case. They said that because so many fathers abandon their children many judges unconsciously favor even bad fathers so that the children will have their father in their lives..."


Friday, May 15, 2015



The mission of the Stop Abuse Campaign is to stop abuse.  First, there is the right of every single victim is not to be a victim at all.  Victims rights for us should start before victims are even made.  

In regard to adverse childhood experiences--you only need two. One being separated from your mother, two your father is an alcoholic, and your chances of being an alcoholic are doubled.  Five incidents improve the chances that a person will be an intravenous drug user.  

Adverse childhood experiences lead to incredible damage for children.  

Stop them before they start.  

Our website produces blogs each day on prevention of abuse.  We advocate for changed public policies.  We have an enduring belief that abuse and neglect can be prevented by changes in public policy.  

Today we do know what to do, the science exists, i.e. The Quincy Solution, The Child Safe Act.  These approaches will stop the nonsense going on in family courts today.  The programs we advocate for, everyone of them is evidenced based.  They are researched.  The problem with abuse and neglect can stop.  All we have to do is change public policy.  

F.Y.I., in two weeks we hope these policies will be introduced in New York.  

Prevention is a local business.  It isn't something for which you can go and knock on the federal government's door.  Each state has to pass this legislation.  We need to go community by community.  

The relationship between domestic violence and child abuse is very close, so when you limit DV, you limit the other.  

So how can you help?  Here is what you can do.  We have put together a basket of public policy, sort of a manifesto, and now what we have to do is sell it.  Because when we enact that, abuse stops, including DV.  

What we need is your help and money.  If you can, go to our website.  If you can make a donation on a recurring monthly basis, we can start budgeting it.  This includes marketing brochures, etc.  A small contribution every month is better than one large one.  

There's different kinds of volunteer work you can do--you can do P.R., mail chimp, word press--or else you can lobby or just spread the faith.  Evangelize the news to as many people as you can, share with them on social media.  The more you share, the less we have to spend on promoting them.  

Recruit your friends--have tupperware type parties but on instead share the Stop Abuse Campaign.  Talk about the sexual abuse problem we have in this campaign.  Talk about how abused mothers who will find it difficult to parent because of the abuse.  Then pass a hat and get ten dollars from each person and we'll take care of it very well.  

Andrew Willis is not a lobbyist, but still the Stop Abuse Campaign needs to find ways to get the program funded.  

We need at least two protective mothers who can act as administrators in groups on Facebook.  

Working together we should be able to stop these problems.  

We are looking for professionals.  

We are working on grants and sponsorships from businesses.  

We are putting together consistent, regular, content online regarding adverse childhood experiences.  More people need to hear about what we are doing.  Up to 20,000 - 30,000 are visiting our website per month, and we need more.  

So we are counting on you!  Every single one of us here at the Conference is capable of making change happen.  And I know that.  All of us.  I know that because we are doing that in New York with a group of activists who have no background in politics.  

So many of us have no experience in changing laws, but we are going to do it now.  Each one of us has a sphere of influence, people in positions of authority, others who have considerable finances available.  Let us know about these folks and we will help you to connect with them so they know how important our work is.  

I have reasonably high hopes that we can succeed in this work.  We have activists in states everywhere, i.e. Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Florida, Ohio, etc. Together, we can make this nonsense stop.  

Barry Goldstein adds:  We need to tell media when violence occurs that The Quincy Solution could have stopped the domestic violence.  

A few years ago we were in Washington, D.C. intending to lobby at the House of Representatives when they decided to shut down government.  We were concerned we couldn't meet with political leaders.  Around that time, we noticed an article indicating there was a problem with poison ivy in the parks around town.  Apparently, goats love to eat poison ivy and were positioned in parks to control the plant.  However, when the government was shut down, then the goats had to be sent home.  

Goats protect their kids, just as we protect our children.  Since that time, we have taken on the symbolism of these goats.  They do what everyone should do which is protecting their kids.  At the conference, we honored the Netherlands for protecting Holly Collins and her children.  The ambassador from the Netherlands said, "It is really very simple.  We must protect the kids.  And this is what we are here for."  

Friday, May 1, 2015


The Stop Abuse Campaign urges you to sign Kelly Rutherford's Petition!  See Below:

"Only in a broken court system could an undisputably wonderful mother like Kelly Rutherford lose custody because her ex-partner did something that made him ineligible to return to the United States.  Judge Teresa Beaudet somehow thought it was more important that the children live with a flawed father rather than a great mother who is the primary attachment figure.  The judge forced the children to leave their home in the United States and move to France.  Kelly Rutherford is a friend of the Stop Abuse Campaign.  She wrote a blurb in support of Barry Goldstein's book, The Quincy Solution.  We are heartbroken at the unspeakable cruelty of separating the children from the mother they love. 


When a mother like Kelly Rutherford can lose custody in the broken court system, no mother and no child is safe.  Kelly has started a petition asking President Obama to help rescue her children.  We at the Stop Abuse Campaign are here because we understand the need to protect children.  Accordingly we ask our friends and supporters to sign Kelly's petition and spread the word..."

Monday, March 16, 2015


Testimony in support of Assembly Bill 5505

Submitted by Barry Goldstein and Melanie Blow of Stop Abuse Campaign

On December 1, 2014, I said goodbye to a dear friend, minutes before

she got picked up by the van that was taking her to federal prison.

My friend kidnapped her daughter to keep her from a father who abused

her and let a convicted sex offender spend the night with her.

I advocate for child abuse survivors. I know so many adults who would

have loved to have the kind of mother my friend is. She was willing to

protect her daughter from anything, including a

very harmful custody decision.

Neither my friend nor I will defend kidnapping a child, ever. Nor will

we defend allowing a system to be so broken that perpetrators of domestic

violence are routinely given custody of their children in a divorce. We will

not defend giving an overburdened DCF the de facto role of court evaluator,

costing taxpayers money with every investigation and forcing children to

suffer instance after instance of abuse. We won’t defend allowing a parent

accused of sexually abusing their child to win custody of that child 85%

of the time, when those accusations are deliberately false 2% of the time.

The crisis in Connecticut’s, and America’s, family courts started with the

belief that women and children were the property of their husband/father.

As we started to learn about domestic violence, little was done to help

family courts protect children better. The Adverse Childhood Experience

research of the late ‘90’s proved that all child abuse even abuse that doesn’t

result in severe physical injuries impacts a child’s future health, meaning all

abuse is a matter of life and death. And we still haven’t fixed the system.

Assembly bill 5055 is remarkable for taking some solid steps to fix the situation.

The Saunders’ study from the U.S. Department of Justice proves many

evaluators, judges and lawyers don’t have the specific knowledge necessary

to recognize and respond to domestic violence and related abuse. True

reports aren’t believed and Connecticut’s children aren’t protected. Many

professionals defensively try to justify their errors and retaliate against

moms like my friend who are trying to protect their children. Assembly

bill 5055 seeks to provide some accountability for the professionals. And

it seeks to make the health and safety of children the first priority in all

custody and visitation decisions. I cannot understand how any other standard

can be tolerated when so many children are being jeopardized by

outdated practices from the 1970s.

As I said goodbye to my friend in December, she told me how proud she

is of the advocate I’ve become. I told her how proud I am of the woman

and mother she is. Both of us want to save children. She went up against

a court system for a few days to protect her child from a hellish life. And

now I am asking the Connecticut state legislator to protect the thousands of

children in your state who are suffering from preventable, predictable,

court ordered abuse.

Because ignoring the experts and research translates to ignoring the

battered mothers, their children and their suffering.

Saturday, March 7, 2015


Prof. Evan Stark reports as follows on the  "STOP ABUSE CAMPAIGN" website:
"The response by Connecticut Family Courts to abused and protective mothers and their children is remedial, punitive and a public embarrassment, particularly given the State’s pioneering role in protection orders, court-based advocacy, mandatory arrest, specialized law enforcement and training for health, child welfare, police and family relations professionals. Once a model for surrounding states, Connecticut’s piecemeal reforms have left a widening gap between the Family Court response, reform in other states and best practice recommendations by major professional organizations such as the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges."
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