I am one of these people who came from a very dysfunctional family from very early in my life, and one of the first thing I learned from that was how to keep my mouth shut. If there was one thing my parents were very firm about, it was that what happens in the family, stays in the family. Blood is blood. It was a kind of family honor type thing.
So when I ended up in therapy at the age of ten as the Identified Patient, I spent two years going to sessions on a weekly basis, staring silently at the psychologist. Then, what I learned as the years went by is: it's a man's world, keep your mouth shut.
So, you can imagine how I felt when I met Susan Skipp. Because this is a person who will not keep silent, who will not compromise, and who expects to be treated as a human being. This is a woman speaking up and speaking out about the corruption of family court!
So what happened in this case? Again, I'll tell you right up front so you don't have to live with the suspense. Basically, Susan Skipp lost custody of her two children and is no longer able to see them.
How did this happen?
I'd say through a lot of bullying and lying, and through the spread of misrepresentations, and half truths.
Who did the most of it?
Well, there are a lot of competitors for this position, but I'd say Judge Lynda Munro truly wins the title in this particular case as the person who lied the most.
For example, In the opening paragraph of her Memorandum of Decision dated October 16, 2012, Judge Lynda Munro implies that both parties were on an equal footing during the court proceedings, i.e. "Both counsel tried this case with experience and skill."
Oh, give me a break.
The bottom line is that for much of the time in this case Susan Skipp was forced to represent herself. She was lucky enough to obtain representation for the trial at the last minute. However, let's be clear. Susan's attorney had around one year of experience and maybe five weeks to prepare, while Shawn's attorney had over thirty years of experience and a couple years to prepare.
The end result is that Shawn's attorney got away with a few things; for example, bringing in numerous exhibits that were not disclosed prior to trial. And just, no matter how hard Susan's attorney worked, and no matter how smart she was, and she was smart, one year of experience is going to be struggling in the face of thirty.
Next, Judge Munro states, "Both were respectful to the parties and witnesses." No, that simply isn't true. I watched the entire trial. During the proceedings, Shawn's attorney was bullying and disrespectful towards Susan Skipp and Judge Munro did nothing to stop it. I don't think anyone should be subjected to that kind of treatment.
Later in the Memorandum of Decision, Judge Munro misreports an incident which occurred with the father and places it within a false context. Apparently, prior to judgment Shawn Tittle drove his car into the side of a fast food restaurant in the take out lane.
Judge Munro explained away the incident, stating that it happened because Mr. Tittle was exhausted from work and that the situation may have been made worse by the ADHD medication he was taking.
What Judge Munro doesn't say is that Shawn Tittle was charged with DUI and that he plea bargained his way out of the charges.
Hello! Innocent people go to trial and are cleared of the charges.
She also doesn't mention the fact that Mr. Tittle attempted to evade responsibility by driving away from the scene of an accident and had to be pursued by police cars. In addition, it came out in court that Shawn switched places with his passenger in order to escape charges.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is illegal. It is not the behavior of a reliable or responsible person.
Susan Skipp was perfectly within her rights to raise concerns about the father after this incident, and the idea that she should have shut up about it is ridiculous.
Another incident Judge Munro talks about is when Susan Skipp filed a complaint with the police because she believed that her ex, Shawn Tittle, tried to hit her with his car. Judge Munro attempts to invalidate Susan's decision to file a complaint because 1) Shawn denied it, and 2) according to Judge Munro's reporting of the story, a witness told the police "he did not think the driver was trying to hit" Susan.
In fact, what the witness said was that he could not state with certainty what the driver was trying to do. And, of course, that would be rather hard to know exactly what the driver was trying to do.
What Judge Munro fails to include in her discussion is the fact that during her testimony Susan stated very credibly that she believed that Shawn was trying to hit her. Without that added point, you do not get the full flavor of the testimony in regard to that incident, i.e. that Susan was sincerely afraid for her life.
In regard to DCF, Judge Munro repeatedly stated that when Susan called DCF, the department did not substantiate any abuse. However, what I heard during court testimony is that Susan called DCF at one point because she was concerned that the children were not being fed.
When DCF visited Shawn Tittle's home they found the refridgerator in the kitchen was empty and the children stated that they were hungry.
To me, these kinds of results indicate that calling DCF wasn't frivolous as Judge Munro would like to imply.
Judge Munro also belittled the fact that Susan called DCF expressing concerns about the many guns Shawn owns. Apparently, he owns 9 firearms, 6 of them handguns. Of course, whether Shawn stored those guns safely or not as a rule, that is hard to determine. The bottom line is that Susan had reported that Shawn had threatened her with them, and that explains why she focused on them and expressed her concerns regarding the way in which Shawn handled the guns.
One thing I would say, particularly after Newtowne, is why would any man with young children hold onto a bunch of guns? Haven't there been enough accidents with children and guns, let alone bloodbaths committed by minors at their schools with guns, for any sensible man to get rid of them? Plus, how many guns are enough? Do you really need nine?
Doesn't this alone call into question Shawn Tittle's capacity for good judgment?
How many men have used guns to kill family members, particularly during a highly contentious divorce?
Granting that, it seems to me that Susan's expressions of anxiety and distress regarding the guns was fully justified. I feel a terrible sense of dread and foreboding just seeing a gun. I could just imagine the distress Susan felt knowing her ex had a whole bunch of them.
And talking about good judgment, how about the "isolated prejudgment incident regarding some hair pulling" that Judge Munro mentioned in her whitewashing comments in connection to Shawn Tittle's behavior. Apparently, Shawn Tittle pulled his son's hair as a means of discipline. I'm sorry, I would never pull a child's hair as a method of discipline. That is entirely inappropriate.
And don't tell me that it was a single incident. A person who does this once, will do it again and again, or do something else very similar.
What bothers me here is the pattern I see emerging in these kinds of Memoranda of Decision, in case after case where fit mothers lose custody of their children.
Whatever the father does wrong is no big deal--mother is exaggerating and overreacting as a way to alienate the father from the children.
However, whatever the mother does wrong is an overwhelming disgrace for which mother should be condemned and lose access to her children completely.
For example, Judge Munro is highly indignant that Susan took the children out of school for two days in order to share some vacation time with them. Of course, I'd get the indignation if the children were failing academically, but that isn't the case.
I had a friend once who took her child out of school for a week on a trip to Mexico simply because that was when the timeshare was available. No one thought that was a big deal. The school simply gave the child a packet of assignments to complete while she was away. So why does two days all of a sudden become a capital crime?
Perhaps because Judge Munro was desperately seeking a justification for trashing Susan in order to deny her custody.
The other thing Judge Munro does is condemn Susan because on occasion--maybe twice--she was very late picking her children up from school. I don't know, I remember years ago, I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on a couch and ended up being late picking my son up from day camp. So shoot me, why don't you.
In the 29 pages of this Memorandum of Decision, Judge Munro only acknowledges in a single sentence that several witnesses spoke about what a great mother Susan Skipp is, "The defendant's better qualities as an active and attentive parent were detailed in their testimony."
You know, you'd think that in a Memorandum of Decision written to determine which parent should have custody of the children that the judge would have a lot more to say on this topic.
Further, in her testimony on the stand Susan was able to provide detailed information in regard to her role as a mother. You could see her entire face light up with joy when she spoke of them.
One of Susan's older daughters took the time to take the stand and speak in support of her mother. This daughter had graduated from college and was leaving in a few days for England where she is going to study for a Master's Degree.
I had the opportunity to speak to this young lady and she was a bright, personable, capable and independent woman.
Clearly, Susan's parenting counted for something. Unless you are a judge like Judge Munro and your agenda is to take custody from a good mother like Susan Skipp in another one of Connecticut's famous custody switching schemes.