Here comes another one of those more amusing posts. According to the automatic orders--yes, darlings, we are still talking about THEM!--Item # 6 requires that the parents of any minor children attend a Parenting Education Class within sixty days of the return date.
Usually, you can get a brochure at the courthouse which gives you the many locations where you can sign up for the class. It is supposed to be an all day adventure, but usually folks participating find a way to cut the class short a little bit earlier.
I think one enterprising fellow went to court and tried to challenge this requirement, but the judge reaffirmed that such a class is necessary. So, no such luck guys, you have to take it.
I can't say the information in these classes is going to harm you, but most of it is pretty common sense, and it all adds up to please, please, please, do not put your children in a position where they are used as weapons in the fight between you two. Don't ask them to take sides, don't use them as bargaining chips, don't tell them stories to make them hate the other party. It is just going to hurt the children, sometimes in permanently, terribly damaging ways. You don't want to be a part of that.
Of course, we all need to hear those principles, and we need to abide by them religiously. On the other hand, what I found highly amusing when I participated in my class was that there was a roomful of women and one token man! What?!? Guys are excused from the class?!?! Guess they are. Must be they already know this stuff--NOT!
The men probably saw that room full of bitter, castrating, vengeful women and ran to reschedule the class.
ReplyDeleteLMAO good one
DeleteGranting what you are saying there should be the option of classes that are for women only, as well as classes that are for men only. It might encourage men to participate more if there were men only classes. As it stands now men are not participating even tho participation is required by law. Men seem to get away with stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteActually, I'll be more specific, the guy in the class I attended boasted the whole time, and joked the whole time about how abusive he was being towards his ex wife. Since I was being abused myself, it was really traumatic to have to sit through the entire class and listen to him. So I would definitely push the idea of gender exclusive classes.
ReplyDeleteMy X promptly signed up for the course and took notes and sat there like a good little boy. He paid no attention to the information given and continued to try to make me look as bad as possible and to make my daughter's life as miserable as possible since next to making my life miserable, it was his greatest joy. I completely forgot about the class, since I was commuting 80 miles a day, had been exonerated of alienating him at least 3 times, was a full time parent, a full time nurse educator, and a full time litigator. I mean, I forgot a lot more important stuff than the class.
ReplyDeleteMaybe my ex was in the above class... he didn't hesitate to acknowledge that he attempted to break my neck and arms and that he swindled me out of my life savings. He said he was protecting himself from me. And his $$$$. His atty. was screeching about it at th e end of our TRIAL but by then there wasn't any evidence that I wasn't acting as I should so it would have been another waste of time and money.
Addendum to above: I worked in the psychiatric field for many years. Those classes are nothing but a way for psychologists and lawyers to make more money off the divorce process. I don't think the classes have ever changed a person's long-term behavior.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand where you are coming from. My question is why don't the men have to take the class, if the women have to take the class. Clearly, judges and attorneys routinely let men off the hook for it. Given how much responsibility women have already, and you have touched upon how much, I'm not sure it is valuable for women to be forced to take it. Thanks for your imput.
ReplyDeleteCathy, everyone has to take it. I actually found it reassuring that CT Divorce is supposed to be all about the best interest of the kids--and that the best parent takes this as facilitating the other's relationship with the kids. It was a rude GAL issue awakening in my case and it hasn't yet turned out that way, since their mom's convenience (she took the job in another state voluntarily a long time ago, then started the affairs) trumped my being in their lives except for 4 days a month... quite a change for them and me from seeing each other every day... Every other week is my goal.
ReplyDeleteMy Sunday class was mostly guys. From one sample you can't deduce this is the profile of all classes.
Found your blog after looking up Dr. Robson from the Washington Times article, Ground Zero in Connecticut. Wondered if you might be willing to link to my blog (http://FamilyCourtMatters.wordpress.com) on the blogroll.
ReplyDeleteI was run through the family court gauntlet after DV, children aged out, and dedicated myself (after the overnight-custody-switch "Where are my kids?!" shock and financial devastation associated) -- to looking up the money trail, once I understood the basic information that no one was actively talking about -- (NAFCJ.net, Marv Bryer, the HHS funding sources) -- and have developed it from there. I also talk about why others don't tell the obvious.
The things I wasn't told (i.e., it's a deliberate self-censorhip among many advocacy groups) might've helped my kids have a mother in their lives, 2nd half of childhood. It's very empowering to understand the basic schema.
Ground Zero and the related article talk about the billings. These courts are set up to facilitate and spread around the various billings. What decent parent wouldn't spend it all to save a child who is being abused? There's a "family HAS some $$" track, and a "Family has NO $$ track," the latter one running someone through mediation instead of evaluation. Then there's the reporting the child was hurt and quickly lose contact route.
Parenting Classes, which are a racket, were promoted under Access/Visitation grants, which are part of welfare reform. By having both federal funding and charging the parents, such a deal. To bring further money to the AFCC organization (its members and their friends), the nonprofits contracting with the courts often don't stay in corporated, meaning get out of paying taxes. When (because) they often have judges or lawyers starting these corps to start with, or on the board, then a person can "donate" to the parenting class education, which may have a case before one of the judges (or directors of Family Court Services) active on the board at the same time, a.k.a. think about it. This is what one grandfather discovered in Los Angeles.
Feel free to link to my blog (I have about 4 total, this is the largest, over 520 posts, a LOT of text and links for followup) http://familycourtmatters.wordpress.com.
This is a very dangerous setup to have in our country, and I am determined to keep exposing it. Anyone could be directly affected while these practices continue.
Blog is anonymous as to email & name if linked (safety issue, thanks). Also the stuff I wrote (PTSD & all) should be linked to if quoted, and not posted as someone else's, i.e., copyright to me, the author unless it's quoting someone else. Thanks.