12 STEP PROGRAMS AL-ANON

Still looking for sources of support? Try your local 12 step programs. Al-Anon is the auxiliary program to Alcoholics Anonymous and is intended for the family and friends of alcoholics. I mean, face it folks, an abusive ex husband is just the same as alcohol, pretty much a factor in your life that is causing major damage and is totally out of your control. What is it you have to admit when you walk into a 12 step program? My life has become unmanageable. It sure has, thanks to your ex husband!

I actually enjoy going to the real Alcoholics Anonymous program for the actual alcoholics because these people are a breath of fresh air. They laugh, they cry, they let it all hang out, and they have the most inspirational stories to tell. With family and friends, you have people who tend to have the life drained out of them by the pain and suffering they have endured. It isn't fair, but that's the way it is.

One of the advantages of a program like this is it gives you a focus for your spiritual life. You know that every day you have something to do to keep yourself going, i.e. get to a meeting, and there is a book or two with daily inspirational readings so you can get bits and pieces of a philosophy that will help you move through the disaster that is your life right now, one day and a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.

The program teaches you important lessons like how to establish boundaries, how to know when you are being manipulated, and how to know when you need to take responsibility and when you need to let go. It also teaches you how to become more self sufficient, how to appreciate yourself for the resources you have inside you, and how to take advantage of every moment.

You'll also have the opportunity to meet other folks who are struggling with life, who will appreciate what you are going through. You can collect some more telephone numbers and email addresses so that you can extend your lifeline of support.

Some downsides are, again, some folks in these programs are so down, there isn't much more down they can go, and that isn't useful. Also, if you have very little children who require babysitting, not all of the meetings have babysitting. Sometimes if there are enough children and no babysitter, they will do this thing of group members rotating out for babysitting every fifteen minutes, but that is a really dedicated action to take on the part of the members and not all groups will do it.

Try at least five meetings before you reject this program and remember, "It works if you work it!"