One of the most important things you can do for yourself if you are involved in a high conflict divorce or are in the situation of representing yourself is to observe a courtroom. And, by the way, as a citizen of the United States of America, you have the legal right to observe in a courtroom to your hearts' content--as long as you aren't disruptive, of course.
When I say "observe" this doesn't mean you hang around for an extra half hour; what I'm talking about is observing a Courtroom. This means that you arrive at 9:00am in the morning and leave at 5:00pm with a quick break for lunch between 1:00pm and 2:00pm. Bring along a notebook and a pen so that you can take notes regarding what you see. If possible, do this fairly regularly so you have a chance to do a full day at least for 5 to 7 days. Sit in different locations around the courtroom--try the large courtroom and the smaller, more intimate sized courtrooms.
Don't be afraid. If you are in a small courtroom and you are the only observer and the lawyers and the judge look at you funny--so what! You may even have the judge ask you why you are there or have attorneys approach you to find out what you are up to. If so, go ahead and tell them, I'm here to observe. I want to learn from having the chance to see what you guys do on a daily basis. Be professional and dress in a formal style while you are there. Take notes, be quiet, watch everything that goes on.
The value of this opportunity is that judges who may eventually be on the bench when your case comes up will remember that you were the one who took the extra time to sit and learn from them. Of course, I don't think it means special treatment, but at least they know you are serious and have a positive attitude.
Also, observing the court allows you the opportunity to see court procedures carried out in front of you, so you can see how they are done. You learn that other people are facing very similar problems and you have the opportunity to see what they are doing to resolve matters. It helps you to learn what legal issues keep on presenting themselves again and again, and provides you with an opportunity to see what are the factors that weigh in when a judge is making a decision. Every time I have gone to Court to observe I have learned new and vital information which has assisted me at a later time, so I can't emphasize more the benefits of being there and watching how it is done.
Whatever you may have to say about the court, whether it is corrupt, or fair in any way, our judicial system is part of a centuries old tradition, and it is worth learning about that tradition, learning about what courts and judges have considered important over the years and learning about what they have done to resolve conflicts, no matter how poorly, and seeing it within the context of individual judges who are seeing thousands of litigants each year, and doing their best with what they have, sometimes well, sometimes badly, but nonetheless with a weight of tradition on their shoulders and, I'd say most of the time--you may argue with me on this one--with the intention of doing the right thing, even when they are blind and don't. And even, on occasion, when fairly rigid court protocol makes it impossible for them to do the right thing. Situations like that happen!
We must first understand the history and the context of the judicial system before we can fully contend with it when the system goes wrong, or when questions of law that we have raised stand before it and hang in the balance and we want to sway it in our direction.
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