I was just over at my AOL account and I noticed that there was news on the website about Mary Winkler.
For those of you that don't know, Mary Winkler was the wife of a Pastor who, in 2005 shot her husband in the back while he slept. Apparently, his last words to her were, "Why?" According to Mary Winkler, she did this in response to years in which her husband raped and abused her. Mary spent a year in jail for this crime and then two years afterwards in 2008, she regained full custody of her three daughters.
In recollecting the trial, Mary Winkler said, "I was just so scared because I thought I'd never see the girls again. I didn't think they would believe me. But they did." At this point, Mary has multiple sclerosis and often has to rely on her in-laws, Mrs. and Mr. Winkler to take care of the girls, and she says they have been very supportive.
After I read the article, I went to the comments section to see what people were saying about this case. Some people were extremely supportive of Mary and were saddened about the abuse she said she endured. Others, frequently men, were terribly upset about the case. They said that Mary was involved in a check kiting scheme and that the actual reason why Mary killed her husband was that she was afraid he would find out about it and be angry with her. They believed that Mary had gotten away with murder.
I think it is very hard to know what to think since we are so distant from this case. None of us were in the courtroom and saw the evidence in the way that the jury did. However, what struck me is that I know of many cases where an abused wife killed her husband that then ended up in jail for years and years. How is it that Mary ended up with this extraordinarily short sentence? I know that some lawyers are so good they can talk a criminal out of any kind of sentence. We've certainly heard of those. And now that I've seen how lawyers can entirely smear the reputation of a person who is innocent, I have great respect for what lawyers can do.
However, reducing the sentence of a person like Mary who killed another person in cold blood and was caught red handed to merely a year? That is truly a miracle! I can't help thinking that maybe there was something about the case that the prosecutor uncovered that we don't know, some piece of information that was quietly floating around in the community that corroborated Mary's story so that her story of abuse ended up being heard. Another explanation could be that the Winkler family decided to exercise Christian forgiveness and asked the prosecutor for leniency. They could have felt that it was enough for the girls to lose one parent, what was the point of losing the other by having her jailed. It is entirely possible.
There is another other consideration that came to my mind as I read about this case, and one of the comments on AOL reminded me of it. There is something about the dysfunction of fundamentalist Christian Churches such as the one that the Winkler's belonged to that invites the abuse of women, and I mean serious abuse, abuse to the point where these women snap. What about Andrea Yates? That was another case of a woman in a fundamentalist church who couldn't take it any more.
I have great respect for fundamentalist churches since I grew up in one, although I have not remained a fundamentalist. As a result, I am terribly disappointed to see this correlation between deep religious faith and the abuse of women. The abuse of women, particularly within the context of marriage and children, is a problem that these religious traditions need to address promptly. It is essential that Pastors all over this country speak out firmly against domestic violence and put a stop to it, whether it be emotional, physical, and economic abuse or some combination of them all.
Another thought I had about this case is that I know so many women in abusive relationships who have spoken out against the abuse they have experienced only to be ignored, mocked, or even punished, not only by members of their community, but also in family court. I know it is petty of me, but I do wonder how it was that Mary Winkler was able to convey her pain to others that they were able to hear it. I can't believe that you have to get out a rifle and shoot someone in order to be heard.
What do you guys think is going on here? Why do people try to silence us? Why do they pretend it isn't happening and let us suffer? What do you think should be done about this situation?
Wow, Cathi. I saw this on aol but I didn't read it and I haven't covered it on Divorce Saloon. I just am too distracted with other things right now...but it IS amazing she got such a short sentence and it is true that we don't know the facts so it's hard to judge. It's sad all around. Domestic violence is just so destructive, so evil. Ironically, she also committed domestic violence when she shot him, albeit it in some kind of self-defense, ostensibly. But a one year sentence? Wow. As for the church and the fundamentalists and all that. I don't know. I am not feeling particularly faithful these days. I think a lot of religions are full of hypocrites on both sides. Here in Georgia this preacher was sued for basically seducing a bunch of young men. He is VERY dynamic and has millions of followers. Turns out, back in the 80's his wife accused him of domestic violence in her divorce papers. So in these churches, a lot of evil occurs and is condoned. But not all. So I am not judging. I know for myself, I seek in my own heart to find god and peace and religion. Because these institutions I see out there MOST of them, are simply filled with hypocrites who don't practice what they preach. IT'S A BUSINESS, YOU KNOW. RELIGION IS BIG BUSINESS....
ReplyDeleteDid you select a new name for your blog? You didn't respond to my suggestions so I'm thinking you thought they we obnoxious or ridiculous. But I can feel them. It's a play on Sarah Palin and her soccer mom/grizzlies, whatever. Divorce and Soccer moms or something like that, in Connecticut, is catchy, I think...
Well, bye for now. It's freezing in the South. Ice everywhere. Gonna make some hot cocoa to keep warm.
Jeannie
Hey, Jeannie, great to hear from you. I think it is really hard to make heads or tails of a case once two lawyers have been at it long enough. That is why I don't make a case one way or another for what happened when it came to Mary Winkler. As I recall, also, the girls were in the house at the time that she committed the crime and when they woke up to find what was going on, she closed the door to the bedroom so they wouldn't see. That makes her seem like a monster. I've heard people condemn Mary Winkler because of her check kiting, but it is very true that abused women tend to fantasize and reach for any kind of straw they think might get them out of the situation. So it seems like in trying to play games with her finances, Mary might have been doing the same thing. I am just curious since I know how merciless the court is normally towards women who cite domestic violence as the reason for their behavior how Mary's attorney's made their case. Anyway, I have been on the road recently, not available to respond to any comments, but I so appreciate hearing from you. In a way, I realize I've got a boring title, but how do I give it back to blogger and try a new one????
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