Have you ever woken up really early in the morning with a sudden insight and said to yourself, "Wait a minute!" That is just what I did this morning, sometime around 7:00a.m.
It arose from my prior discussion on this blog regarding the automatic orders. As I was reading and reviewing them for your benefit, my readers, I had this nagging sense of something wrong, and it persisted and persisted, until this morning I woke up and said to myself, I know what it is, what has been bothering me.
Let me take you back several years ago to the beginning of my divorce process when I was absolutely terrified, completely unaware of how the legal process worked, and seriously at risk of losing my children. I had this lawyer who was supposed to be the top ranked divorce attorney in the State of Connecticut who charged me something like $375.00 per hour.
Anyway, I had read the automatic orders and understood that you weren't supposed to take your children out of state for any reason without the permission of the other party. At the time, my parents had called me up and asked if they could meet with the children for an evening of fun and entertainment in New York City.
Since I was very concerned that I not violate the automatic orders, I brought up the issue with my high priced attorney. He immediately wrote a letter which he sent by fax to the opposing attorney raising the issue. There were several letters and phone calls back and forth while he negotiated permission from my ex husband so that I could take the children out of state. Then we drew up a carefully worded agreement which was to be signed by both parties. I can recall being terribly upset the day before I left for New York with the children because my ex had yet to sign the document and I called my attorney's secretary to get her to make sure it was signed. That involved extra phone calls and a faxed letter from me requesting that the document be signed on time so that I could leave unencumbered by any worries and concerns that my ex might make a big deal of the fact that I'd gone out of state with the children without authorization. (As you can imagine, he was the kind of person who would do that.)
I remember being terribly annoyed and upset that the process took so long and required such detailed documentation. It must have cost me alone what with the negotiations, letters, and signed stipulation, a few thousand dollars to put together.
Then, a few months ago on this blog I began to discuss the automatic orders and their relevance to divorce and a little sense of irritation kept on nibbling at my consciousness. I'll tell you why. Let me just write in here item #5 of the automatic orders regarding taking children out of state: "Neither party shall permanently remove the minor child or children from the State of Connecticut, without written consent of the other or order of the court." It's that little word "permanently" that counts.
When I asked to take the children to New York City to see their grandparents, I wasn't planning on taking them permanently! It was just a night out! Now, if Item #5 of the automatic orders used the word "temporarily" that would have been a different matter. But that word wasn't there. In other words, I had every right to take my children to New York that night with or without my ex's permission--I would not have been violating any laws by taking them out of state for a single night, not at all.
Somehow, when I read the automatic orders back then I was so upset that I had misunderstood the wording. You'd think my hot shot lawyer would have pointed that out to me and sent me happily on my way to New York. But no, this guy was going to make his money, so he huffed and puffed and made a big deal out of it and turned the whole misunderstanding regarding a single word into lots of money for himself, as if, in a high conflict divorce such as mine, there wasn't quite enough to earn money on.
Of course, the additionally interesting part of this story is the fact that the opposing attorney went along with it. I mean, he also could have simply said, legally you don't need permission, and thereby he could have saved some money for my ex as well. So that's two lawyers not just one cashing in on a single misunderstanding regarding a word. His lawyer, at least officially, also makes around $375.00 per hour. So between the two of us that's maybe $5,000 or so over what--a word?
When I look back and think of the ways that old attorney of mine strutted around and blew hot air in my ears, it makes me sick. More than any other story I could tell, this one mostly effectively highlights the corruption of the legal profession which people such as ourselves face every day in family court.
No comments:
Post a Comment