It is true, family court is all about winning and losing--either you win or you lose. At least that is true of high conflict divorces. So, how do you know whether you are heading for a lose situation?
One of the ways you can figure that out is when you find yourself an outsider in the divorce proceedings, but your ex is clearly an insider. This means that when you have an upcoming court date your ex will call up and tell you in detail what the outcome of that court date will be. Huh? How did he know all that? Well, I will give you one big guess.
As I have said before, everyone is really buddy buddy in court. Whenever I go to court, I always end up seeing the same old players. They've been around for some time. These folks, during the course of their work at court, often end up in chambers with the judge. And you know what happens there! Oh, Judge So and So, remember the whatchamacallit case, yes, well, we were thinking that we could just blah, blah, blah and the deal is done. Any hearing that takes place subsequently is just for show, i.e. to keep you satisfied that you had a hearing, and to earn the attorneys more money. Nothing like a hearing to raise cash! Particularly in these difficult economic times.
The truth is that most cases are decided between attorneys within the first few weeks of the case, no matter how long the case continues to drag on subsequently. Attorneys have seen these cases for years and they know what they think is fair and what the judges will put up with and they don't need to go to court and have a trial to figure it out even though they will give you a good show if you insist on one.
And if you persist on trying to go your own way, your attorney will just sit there until you come back because they know that without them you won't be going anywhere at all. You are the horse and the attorney is the rider. Get it?
Another indicator that you are the loser in the case is when you go to court and when you are hanging around in the corridor waiting for the process to move forward, your attorney has joined the opposing attorney and your ex for a nice chat while you are standing there alone several feet away going "What the F---!"
And another one along those lines is when you make a suggestion to your attorney regarding how to handle the case and YOUR attorney says that the opposing attorney doesn't think that it is such a good idea.
I like the one where my attorney expressed great sympathy because the opposing attorney hadn't been paid in a while. Ahhhhhh. Wittle opposing attorney hadn't been paid! Ahhhhhh! What a shame! I am soooo sorry. What can we do about that dreadful situation? Perhaps agree to a few provisions in the financial agreement that would cause you harm? After all, wittle opposing attorney hadn't been paid! We don't want to drag this process out.
A good way to tell that things are going wrong is when you have absurdities like that.
Another situation that happens is that your attorney will start to attack you in subtle and indirect ways in an attempt to undermine your confidence. Questions like, "Why don't you make sure your children have their lunch money at school." when there is no indication that you didn't or "How come this bill at Wallgreens is so high?" when it is actually quite low.
Another way you can figure out you are are losing is when you obtain judgments that simply don't make sense given the evidence, or when your attorney insists you agree to stipulations that are quite obviously not in your favor.
I am not sure what you can do in these kinds of circumstances. After all, what you have here is an outright conspiracy which includes the one person, your attorney, who is paid thousands and thousands of dollars in order to support you. You could try to change attorneys, but in those cases the new attorney will adopt the attitudes and agreements of the first attorney, and you will end up with an emptier wallet combined with a bad reputation for changing attorneys.
The other way is to be so knowledgeable about the process that it is hard to get around you and manipulate you. In that case you need to invest a lot of your time and ultimately become more of an attorney than an attorney, and who has the time for that. However, that may be your only option. Then you can screw up your attorney's attempts to undermine you by pointing out his legal errors.
At the very least, by reading this article and getting clued in on the signs of attorney betrayal, you won't end up being a chump.
Wow! I'm so very impressed you hit my case exactly perfect. Only my divorce attorney asked for so many extentions ?? Why last I heard she kept telling the judge it is based on me getting approved on Social security claim is approved everything else will just go away . 18,000.00 no kids or major issues. I need to first make sure all the conflicting issues get this my attorney was more interested in lawsuits from my father on asbestos cancer resulted indeath inherited from myfather set up each child his and my name payable on death . OK stay with me this is all in court files Iowa . Divorce attorney stated estate can't close before cases settled . Attorney requested all estate. Records attorney and executor my brother refused all information or documents filed onfathers estate attorney claimed if my brother wants it that way its on him . OK my attorney statedwe will file complaint to bar . Now she said no wait the judge who handle it messed up we will fix after due to he is now the judgeappointed on divorce case he hears you are questioning him he will give you nothing in divorce so we wait . Judge Foy is very bias do not question or even speak of it. Attorney from May 2010 till Jan 2011 requested my ex husbands attorney to withdraw conflict law firm who is still doing estate law firm represented me buying our house and bank who have a suit against refused to withdraw 3,000.00 later cost requesting to withdraw refused to respond . OK I got estate to reopen due to attorney handling law suit listed 15896819.00 money listed estate 50,000.00 attorney fee and excutor fee .Will list children 3 and wife equal 897.00 each each received tax loss for estate 23,456.00 x 4 is money lost attorney said that helps us since the fees were large . OK judge on divorce on estate now divorce attorney was now working with ex attorney estates attorney had to reopen very upset also attorney representing bank which another attorney was suing for fraud . conflict so we settled on divorce well I paid 22,000.00 by now last in emails i finally got showed both attorneys removing house stating to be sold asap ex lives in and borrowed 9,000.00 during separation okay so large amount will be a loss he is to pay for loss due to loans I never knew or signed for ex refused so the attorney handling law suit on bank read settlement due to not harm case last both attorneys agreed in email to remove house must sale eitherway removed like it way never there for three years I have went to court with ex and his attorney due to claim attorney stated it was never discussed in settlement so i lost rights to. House and all oh ya attorney forgot to verify pention account just got ex to agree to my share
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