It must have been really fun for Gregory to spend his time with Dad sitting around playing video games, going to movies and things like that, once Dad retired and was much more available.
As I have said before, previously, for the first eleven years of Gregory's life, his Dad was away in New York for the week and only returned home on weekends. And I assume that some of that time on weekends was spent simply traveling back and forth and, I am assuming, Dad's mind must have been quite preoccupied with work for some of the time. It is hard to leave work behind.
Then in 1997, Dad retires and he is totally available. That must have been quite a change and led to lots of changes in both Gregory and Mr. Bauer's life, including the fact that both would have had the time to get to know each other better and develop a closer relationship.
So, what kind of man was Mr. Charles I. Bauer. Who was this man that Gregory was poised to develop a closer relationship to?
Luckily for you and me, since the trial court is transparent, and on the basis of the principle of transparency will spread all your private information out on the internet for everyone to see, we have all sorts of detail about Mr. Bauer.
Not so of Mrs. Bauer. You realize that there was a psychological evaluation of Mrs. Bauer as well as Mr. Bauer so this practice of broadcasting all this information about the character of the parties should have affected both of them. However, surprise surprise, there is no commentary of any real interest regarding Mrs. Bauer. I would guess that everyone figured it wouldn't make sense to kill the golden goose who is laying the big fat golden eggs. We want to keep her profile neat and tidy so she can keep up with her employment and pay all the bills.
So Mrs. Bauer is looking really, really good, but Mr. Bauer?
I have to shake my head. Reading all this information on Mr. Bauer, he looks like a total scumbag.
But first off, let's see how many doctors had a shot at examining this guy. First, Dr. James C. Black in the custody evaluation, then there is Dr. Allan M. Jacobs, a psychiatrist specializing in substance abuse, Dr. Frank Stoll, to do the psychological evaluation, and then the neurological evaluation with Dr. Edward Fredericks. Alrighty then, do we have enough cooks?!?
So what do they say about our guy?
He is anti-social, "Mr. Bauer leads a sendentary life in his retirement. He has no apparent involvement in the community life of Simsbury."
He is an alcoholic but denies it, "Until his use of alcohol became an issue in this dispute, he was a daily drinker, consuming beer occasionally at lunch, martinis in the evening, and wine periodically with dinner."
Then he has a history of seizures, so he shouldn't be drinking, but he does anyway, "Though the number of seizures is disputed by the parties, it appears to the court that Mr. Bauer has had at least three convulsive episodes in his life time, each one associated with alcoholic intake." Mr. Bauer knows his drinking upsets his son, Gregory, but does he stop? No.
Then, on top of the alcohol, Mr. Bauer "also smokes approximately a pack of cigarettes daily against medical advice." and, as a result, is in the early stages of emphysema. When asked if he smokes in front of his son, he denied it. According to the trial court, "While Mr. Bauer testified that he smokes in the bathroom upstairs and the fumes don't leave the bathroom, the court takes this claim as no more than a schoolboy's fantasy that evidence of smoking can be kept from the unwary."
Then to top everything off, Dr. Stoll's evaluation of Mr. Bauer found that "this man lacks much insight into himself and others", that he is "disinclined to admit any social shortcomings", and that his personality structure has "a strong narcissistic component."
As a final remark, Dr. Stoll says, "following Mrs. Bauer's relocation to Minnesota Mr. Bauer has assumed the primary responsibility for Gregory's care. It has not gone well." Or as the trial court put it, describing that period, "Indeed, it is evident that Gregory was failing amidst Mr. Bauer's inattention and ignorance."
So what does Dr. James C. Black, the custody evaluator think of all this? He asserts that despite Mr. Bauer's self-destructive behavior "that Mr. Bauer has been a positive role model for Gregory." which leads me to wonder: Was Dr. Black smoking something very special himself? I mean, did he pay attention to any of this information about Mr. Bauer's drinking, smoking, seizure inducing, child neglecting, narcissistic behavior, or was he snoozing through all of that?
In regard to Dr. Black's testimony that Mr. Bauer is A-OK, for once, thank God, "The court disagrees." It is not every day that the trial court disagrees with stupid, but this time it did. And God bless the trial court for doing so.
Of course, this testimony about Mr. Bauer could all be invented. As we know, people do invent in family court. And if any of us were scrutinized at length by four separate mental health professionals, I don't know how well any one of us would do.
The bottom line is that the trial court's decision was the Mother would have custody if she would return to Connecticut and live in Simsbury and allow Gregory to finish high school there. More than anything else, this decision is testimony to the power of a fifteen year old on a trial court's determinations. Keep this in mind when you consider what is going on with you in family court.
This would give Mother around two months to find a new job in Connecticut, which isn't very much time for an upper level corporate executive.
Ultimately, also, the trial court gave no alimony to Mr. Bauer even though Mrs. Bauer made double the salary that he did. So, if Mr Bauer's motivation for fighting for custody for Gregory was money, he was not going to get it. And if Mrs. Bauer wanted custody of the child she said she loved, she would have to give up a considerable amount of her money, her salary, in order to have it.
Truly, a Solomonic conclusion to a very costly trial court proceeding.
Tell me, what do you think, if the roles had been reversed and Mr. Bauer was the one with the fancy job, and Mrs. Bauer was the drinker and smoker, would Mr. Bauer have been challenged to give up his job? I wonder?
And there is more...
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