If you suspect your husband or wife is molesting your kids the best thing you can do is stay married and never ever let him or her alone with the kids. If you don't tell anyone you can protect your children in the home.
If you tell authority's then the person reporting abuse will be removed from the children and the abuser will get full custody. Or if they find that the abuse is real your children can go into foster care and get molested and abused more and possibly killed in foster care as often children in foster care get abused and killed because they are only a paycheck.
The reason the safe parent has child removed if it turned out true is failure to protect your children.
If they think the abuser is not abusive you can be accused of coaching your children and the children get full time with abuser.
You can be removed for reporting abuse.
Reporting abuse will only make abuse worse in every scenerio. This goes for men or woman.
This can happen with any type of child abuse that is reported. Not just sexual abuse."
By an Anonymous Contributor, A victim of family court abuse
By an Anonymous Contributor, A victim of family court abuse
I agree. I stayed married for ten years for just this reason and regret filing for divorce. No one ever advises a woman who is in an abusive marriage to stay but the reality is that we can divorce these men but our children cannot. Judge Sommers in Bridgeport denied a contempt motion even after hearing testimony from my husband admitting to violating our parenting plan and his excuse was that I antagonized him into his abusive behavior. She refused to strike that mischaracterization of me from the record and I suppose she accepts that as a justifiable excuse for abusive behavior. The denial of that motion has only emboldened my husband to behave worse now with the children because he knows he will not be held accountable. When I related this to my DV counselor she knew without me saying who the judge was. "She's our only female judge and she's the worst for women." If you are married to an abuser and in Bridgeport's jurisdiction my opinion is: do not leave your abuser if you want to protect your children. Wow. I can't believe I wrote that but that's my opinion. I wish I'd trusted my instincts and stayed married to my abuser just to protect the children. Against my better judgement I listened to my family and friends and conventional wisdom and began the divorce process thinking the judicial system would also put my children's well being first. I was wrong. Anonymous' comment above is the first time I've read this advice and sadly, I've come to the same conclusion. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI would only say as a correction that all the judges do this, not just some Judge Sommers. The DV centers and the CCADV act as though they are surprised and make out that it is just your isolated judge or just your isolated case. The reality is that the DV centers are in collusion with these policies, they know all about them, and they know that advising you to leave your abuser when you have children is nonsense, they know the courts will rule against you, they know that there is no protection in family court from your abuser and they allow you to walk into this situation without any caution or protection. I am so sorry to hear of your situation which is actually the standard in family courts all over the state. Hear this, and hear this well, Moms, the court doesn't care that you are being abused, it does not care that you are being beaten, it does not care if you are at risk of your life. Just think about Baby Aaden and how he was thrown over a bridge to his death because Judge Barry Pinkus, still a practicing judge in Middletown, refused to give him or his mother a restraining order from the father who killed him.
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