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Sunday, March 5, 2017

CT FATHER'S POWER ADVOCATES SKETCH OUT A LEGISLATIVE INITIATIVE TO CRUSH MOTHERS IN CT FAMILY COURT!

The Commander, "The Handmaiden's Tale"
The way Fathers in CT want things to be!
In Margaret Atwood's dystopic novel "The Handmaiden's Tale", a series which airs soon on Hulu, women have been reduced to baby making machines in a society where men have seized full political control  of the entire United States.  Impossible?  Unlikely?  Don't be so sure.

"Handmaidens" whose sole purpose is to give birth
in Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaiden's Tale"
Recently, I was at the Legislative Office Building with some friends when a person showed me current 2017 legislative proposals, which, appallingly enough, sketch out a strategic plan that will essentially crush mothers in Family Court and lead to a situation where men seize control of family court processes and essentially remove mothers from the lives of their children in droves. 

Apparently, this is legislation that father's rights extremists within the Coalition formulated without sharing it with the many abused women who are a part of the membership.  If this legislation succeeds, we will pretty much have "The Handmaiden's Tale" in real life on our front doorsteps.

Let me just go through the full panoply of legislative proposals which will lead to this horrific situation.  

First we have PSB - 363.  This is an act which would require Judges to receive training on Parental Alienation Syndrome which is a quack psychological theory invented by Dr. Richard Gardener to justify the sexual abuse of children.  It is solely used for the purpose of removing a mother from the life of her children. While both fathers and mothers have accused one another of parental alienation syndrome in family court, historically only women end up losing custody and all contact as a consequence of this quack diagnosis.  

What is so ridiculous about this particular piece of legislation is that Judges and GALs already receive extensive education in Parental Alienation Syndrome, hilariously enough some of it from Dr. Donald Hiebel, a notorious Family Court professional who was recently sued for sexually abusing some of his patients.  This is how outrageous such proposed legislation is since it essentially opens the doors for pedophiles and abusers to continue their wrongdoing.  

Next we have PHB - 6645. This legislation would establish the presumption of shared parenting, i.e. 50/50 parenting automatically, in custody decisions, as would PHB 5989 An Act to Establish Parental Equality Rights. This approach is absolutely foolish. For instance, what about the many situations where parents live over an hour away from each other, or when one parent lives out of state.  How is shared parenting supposed to work in those situations, aside from the havoc wrought in the lives of the children who have to bounce like tennis balls from one town to another, and end up being at home in neither.  

This is not even beginning to address the issue that violent abusers and perpetrators of coercive control would have a bonanza abusing their victims under this type of system.  

While I understand that there are some who naively support shared parenting because they believe it would give them access to their children that they do not have now, this is just a foolish expectation.  Shared Parenting, if it is ever instituted, will arrive with the exact same loopholes that exist now that eliminate parents from the lives of their children. These loopholes will not change just because you put Shared Parenting in place.  

If you were accused of PAS and denied access to your child under the presumption of Joint Custody, you will most certainly be denied access to your child under the presumption of Shared Parenting.  That's a given.  If you challenge that view, I am going to wonder if you ever set foot in family court.  

Moving further along, we have H.B. No. 6444 and H.B. No. 6449 both of which would expand Grandparent's rights.  

Why?  

Because we all know that as soon as the Shared Parenting bill gets passed, the fathers who fought so hard for it will take the extra parenting time they get with their kids and pass it along to their grandparents.  These bills expanding the grandparents role are simply there to legitimize such actions when Mothers inevitably say, wait, the father's aren't using this time, so I should have it back.  Father's will then be able to say, Grandparents have legitimate rights to the children.  

Again, we don't even need any legislation for this.  It happens already.  I can't tell you how many fathers who fought and obtained sole custody of their children from abused mothers, then either turned around and passed the children on to their parents or else already live with their parents because, the fact is, they have no clue how to care responsibly for their children without their parents' help.  I hear that all the time.  

The next area where Fathers crafted more legislation to stomp all over protective mothers is P.H.B. 6442 Custodial Interference in the First Degree which includes Parental Alienation Syndrome in Item #3 and which would increase punishments for any real or perceived (i.e. not real) interference with children.  

Along with that, there is another beaut--P.H.B. 6626--which includes sanctions against a person who is in violation of court orders related to custody or visitation.  Again, this is all legislation which centers around let's punish the Mom, because we all know it will be enforced against mothers, but never against fathers.  

None of this legislation in any way benefits or supports the issues that concern Mothers in family court matters.  

Of course, if any of this legislation gets passed, we would see a massive deconstruction of society as we know it. Mothers in large numbers would lose custody of their children, end up confined in jail, be left homeless and indigent, which is, of course, the end goal of these Father Power advocates, so no big surprise there.  

I mean, it isn't as though with the massive sums of money, the millions and millions of dollars in fatherhood initiative funding, these outcomes aren't already happening.  Of course, they are.  Absolutely.  

But these Father Power people, not being sufficiently happy with trashing women thus far, now propose P.H.B. 5656 an act which would put limitations on the payment of child support to a non custodial parent.  

This prohibits the court from ordering a person who has sole legal custody to pay child support to the non-custodial parent.  So this means that the guy who seizes control of the children because of his considerably greater financial resources, can party around with his six digit salary, and then deny his ex wife who is living on the street the money she might need to see her children in supervised visitation for one hour a week.  Wow! Wouldn't that be great for fathers, if it passes.  And it goes on and on--see P.H.B. 6638.  

Then to top it off, we have H.B. 6455 and P.S.B. 531 which would place limitations on the access self represented parties have to the family court system.  And whom would that affect for the better part?  Women, of course. Because once they have been bullied out of custody, thrown in jail, and rendered homeless and indigent, the only way they can come to court is as self represented parties, so of course the Father Power contingent wants to stop them and shut them down.  

I don't know.  I am pretty disgusted.  For the better part, the vast majority of injured parties in family court are women and their powerful stories of injustice have provided most the fuel that has galvanized the Coalition For CT Family Court Reform.  Now, ironically, these Father Power people have co-opted these stories and are using them to support an agenda that would crush women under their feet.  There is nothing more disgraceful than that these men would exploit the sufferings of women for their own nefarious ends.

I can recall in 2012 a group of women met with a CT State Legislator and each of us spoke of our stories in family court.  I recall there was more than one meeting actually.  

Not long after these meetings were held, I heard the rumor that the legislator hesitated to take action to support us because we women were too whiny, clinging, and weak to accomplish anything.  

Recently, I heard an equivalent sentiment from a women family court activist; she stated that men are tough and strong, and women court victims are incapable of political action.  In 2016, when we just watched a woman run for President, I find the position that women are not capable of fighting for themselves in the political arena rather old fashioned.  Certainly, I think if these Father's Power people keep up with their shit, they will really get some major examples of what strong women advocates can do.

6 comments:

  1. The legislation proposed as reform is merely legalizing what already occurs. Where is the oversight? Where is ethical requirements for judges, lawyers, MHPs? Where is reporting of case outcomes? Where is mandated camera in the courtroom and at minimum - tape recording of any ordered MHP, GAL counseling or education sessions?

    Certainly this legislation is bogus. The men could care less about the kids - they refuse to admit that some of them are dangerous and harmful. They use the kids to reduce financial loss - as proven by the support provision. They learn all these tactics at websites and books and from lawyers and psycho-logists referred from their network of creeps.

    But - women DO need to learn how to organize and speak up for themselves and stop paying lawyers to lie to them. Put the money into fighting for change because women will continue to get screwed unless they learn the racket and funding of the systems that are carrying out these crimes.

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  2. This legislation is NOT about, nor ever was about, favoring one gender over another. This is not a gender war nor should it be made out as one. In most cases, with rare exception, it is important that both parents be part of the child's life. Parental alienation happens to both women and men, and I disagree wholeheartedly with your assessment that judges and GALs already receive an "extensive" amount of education on this topic. Have you kept up to date how the amount of training hours for GALs were reduced - not to mention that a deminimus amount, if any, time is devoted to this one issue. It has taken years to come to fully understand this issue by speaking with parents, legal professionals, and the behavioral health community. Do not be so dismissive on an issue that meets the narrative you are trying to sell by stereotyping men. Women and men both love their children. Let's get past this pettiness and work together.

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    1. The idea that this legislation is not about favoring one gender over another is absurd given that the entirety of the legislation favors men. But I know there is this presumption that the word "men" includes women as well, so if that's the way in which you mean that gender is not an issue here, well, I beg to disagree. Both parents can, and in fact are, in the lives of their children with joint parenting. The concept that they aren't is pure fabrication on the part of father's rights people. What joint custody does is make sure that when fathers are with their children they are actually paying attention to them rather than passing them on to babysitters or grandparents. Parental Alienation may as you say happen to both men and women, but only women lose all contact with their children based upon PAS. In fact, the literature of PAS specifically states that the majority of perpetrators of PAS are women. And yes, I personally know that Judges have been trained in this PAS theory because I've seen the CT Judicial Branch flyers advertising the sessions. GAL training for which I have all the training materials includes extensive work on PAS theory, and at least the last time I checked, included a recording of Dr. Richard Gardiner himself presenting his theory. So you are simply wrong. If the GAL training has been reduced, I'm sure they haven't tossed out the PAS section of it, and even if they had, PAS is so much on everyone's lips and the propaganda so widespread, I'd be surprised if anyone could avoid hearing about it. What you really mean when you say let's work together, let's get over the pettiness, is why don't women just shut up and agree to be bullied by extremist fathers as per usual. Working together or getting over the pettiness NEVER means acknowledging how mother's feel, or instituting legislation to safeguard their needs. And personally, I'm getting a little sick of this one way street, as I'm sure lots of other mothers are.

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  3. It bothers me that father's extremists want to force Shared Parenting post divorce on everyone. Now, shared parenting can work, just the same as nesting can work, but only with a minority of parents. One set of parents I know it worked well with Mom was an engineer, Dad was an accountant and they lived in the same town. Once father moved to another town, then they renegotiated their parenting agreement to one that put the children more in the care of the mother. As we well know, with the current joint custody we have in CT, statutes that are supposed to hold abusers to account often don't work given our corrupt legal system. And they are no more likely to work with Shared Parenting. What the CT Family Court Reform movement was supposed to do was put a brake on the corrupt practices of the Court. Instead, fathers rights people have taken control and now attempt to impose Shared Parenting on everyone which wouldn't do a damn thing to put a stop to the corruption or limit the exploitation of family court vendors which goes on to the tune of thousands and thousands of dollars for individual litigants. Joint custody which we have now is a greater defense against abusive parents and will remain so. Joint Custody allows both parents to participate in the lives of their children, although men's rights people falsely state otherwise. In situations where father's have been the primary at home parent, it goes without saying that such an arrangement should continue. I am well aware of situations like that, and met quite a few Dads who were primary parents, and that's not a problem. The problem is that currently extremist fathers are trying to destabilize American society and that is simply not acceptable.

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  4. she also wants to propose legislation that would mandate 50/50 property settlements even if a husband is making over $1 million a year and the wife has been a stay at home mother for many years out of the job market. She has harshly criticized judges who have given unemployed wives a 60% property distribution. She is a friend to the rich men because they donate to her campaign fund. She is no friend to women.

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    1. Oh, so true. Personally, I think we should start a petition to censure her wrongdoing against women.

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