UPPER CLASS WHITE MEN A BUNCH OF SCUMBAGS? YOU DECIDE!

Do some white men just not get it?

I think it is particularly typical of some self-centered, upper class, white men that they often think of their wives as spoiled and pampered because they have absolutely zero clue regarding what is involved in growing successful, well rounded, ethical human beings.

Doing so is an incredibly demanding task both spiritually, intellectually, and physically, and it is an occupation that does not merely cease once these young people hit 18. As any hands on Mom knows, we are continuing to support, bolster, craft, mold, engage, facilitate and enhance these young people as human beings and as contributing members of society well into their 20s if not 30s and on.


Nonetheless, some upper class white men continue to believe that anyone can bring up their child, and they just grow like flowers in the sun shine, and that if they are left alone day after day after school or brought up by the housekeeper or given tons of money, things will be just fine. Well, no, this is not what happens. We have an opiod epidemic here in CT which particularly impacts young people and the wealthier communities are not immune.

Why is this so?

Because of the abuses of a few self-centered upper class white men who continue to abuse and disrespect their ex-wives, who seize custody of their children in custody disputes using their superior social and economic resources, and ultimately scar and damage their children for life. Taking their cue from the book "Screw the Bitch" which is wildly popular among such men, they use every nefarious tactic it advises to screw their ex-wives and the mothers of their children in family court. The end result is the deconstruction of our families and communities combined with a substantial increase in promiscuity and crime.

Further, some,  but not all, upper class white men disgrace themselves by their resentment of any intelligent woman, their resentment of any woman who is financially well off, and their desire to get revenge on such women not only with the judicial system but in a broad range of services in CT such as the insurance and financial industries.  Such attitudes I have found quite striking and widespread, particularly here in CT. Men like this harbor the presumption that women who have attained status over a period of years must have achieved these results by being spoiled and pampered. What they don't realize is that a considerable number of women like this are highly educated and hard working, and they have tough fighting spirits, specifically because they worked harder than most to get where they are today.

Nevertheless, as a victim of the CT Family Court system, and now an advocate, I do continue to see this ongoing prejudice and hatred of women among CT professional men. This misogyny, that leads even Judges in family court, who are sworn to be fair and just, to make disparaging comments about the women who appear before them and to deride them for their economic and scholarly success, is particularly appalling.

Of course, the men who act and speak in this manner often had mothers who were highly successful at raising them, often have their own wives and daughters whose achievements they benefit from. Still, they can't help being nasty sons of guns who seek to oppress women and subject them to the will of other abusive men whenever possible. 

While these men are having their fun, and chortling, and being gleeful about the damage they have and continue to inflict, they never think about future consequences, and there will be consequences.  In the end, these very same men will pay for their actions in the dysfunction of their own lives, in the mental health and substance abuse addictions of their children, and in the loss of the love and affection of those closest to them.

Just some final thoughts to leave you with. These upper class white men who abuse their ex wives actually believe that their children will never figure  out what they have done, but the amazing fact is that, sooner or later, most children will.  

It is also true that, even if it turns out that the mother was flawed, or that she did make mistakes, that doesn't stop children from continuing to care, from continuing to be loyal, and from continuing to love.  Think of the lost Indian boy, Saroo Brierly, who took 25 years to track his mother down, and was finally able to succeed using google earth.  P.D. Eastman's book, "Are You My Mother?" about a little lost baby bird who goes on a journey to find his mother continues to have mass appeal among children's books.  Why?  Because finding your way back home to mother is the most primitive, the most basic drive that all human beings have hard wired into their hearts and minds.

And for those of you who are Catholics just consider that 59% of the physical layer of the rosary references the Virgin Mary, and a billion Christians pray to her every year.  Without the gift of Mary, there would be no salvation in Jesus Christ.  So if self-centered, upper class white men think that excluding the mother from the life of the family makes sense, they are kidding themselves and they are unbiblical.

Any men who disparage the value of mothers and of motherhood, I believe, will pay the price in the end, most likely by destroying any legacy they might have had to pass on to the next generation.  What is worse is that, by the time they figure it out, it will be too late to correct the harm and damage that has been done.