I noticed gender bias in particular when I was in the middle of my divorce.
During the custody evaluation the primary focus was on whether I was making home cooked meals for the children (God forbid we go to Subway, McDonalds, or a pizza parlour!) and whether I was keeping the house clean. It all boiled down to my ex husband whining "She don't feed me!" and "She's a dirty beast!" Somehow these words have a powerful impact on evaluators, GALS, attorneys and judges.
The question I have is, since when did the meals and the cleaning become my sole responsibility in a marriage where both spouses are working?
And, by the way, if you are a woman, God forbid you aren't working, or aren't thought of as working. I was working full time, but when my ex filed for divorce, I was so upset that I stopped working. Then every lawyer I went to, the judge before I came during initial negotiations in the divorce, all asked me why I didn't have a job.
Well, sorry, I didn't know it was such a crime! Plus, excuse me, since when has it been that simply taking care of your children isn't a job. I guess that is all fun and games, huh!
What I found most damaging in terms of the presumptions I faced was the expectation that my ex husband was justified in maintaining all assets in his name and doling me out a limited allowance from his salary during the pendente lite period. This left him free to disappear all the assets and put me and the three children in a position where I literally had no money for food and gas and I had collection agencies on the phone twelve hours a day every day, but my ex was living a luxurious life style. And the Courts didn't seem to have a problem with that. Then when it came down to agree to a division of the assets they had the nerve to ask me to confirm that I wasn't under duress when I signed the agreement. Give me a break!
Anyway, in 1991 a task force investigating gender bias in the Court system in Connecticut reported serious gender bias in the courts stating "Gender bias breeds unfair treatment and unfair results." Another study of the federal courts in Connecticut reported results in 1997 indicating that, again, there is serious gender bias in the courts. In 2010, I can't imagine things have changed much. It would be interesting to here your stories. Have you experienced gender bias?
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