THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE ABUSER

People who abuse belong to a very specific personality type. These are people who have what is known as a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The characteristics of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder are as follows:

1. They tend to have a grandiose sense of self importance;

2. They are preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or idea love;

3. They believe they are special or unique;

4. They require excessive admiration;

5. They have a strong sense of entitlement;

6. They are exploitative of others;

7. They lack empathy;

8. They are often envious of others;

9. They are arrogant.

Many of these kinds of people can be superficially charming and hoodwink their victims, and it is only later on as the relationship unfolds that their negative qualities start to emerge. By then, it is often to late and the damage has been done.

The diagnoses of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Psychopathy, Sociopathy, and Antisocial Personality Disorder often overlap and abusers may have variations of all four. Ultimately, the only difference between these diagnoses may be in regard to the severity of the conditions.

If you are involved in a high conflict divorce such as the one this website deals with, you may consider requesting a psychological evaluation of the abuser. One kind of test that can pinpoint these characteristics is the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) and another is the Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) developed by Dr. Robert D. Hare. The latter is a particularly effective way of pinpointing a psychopath.

There is a tremendous sense of relief once you have a diagnosis and can understand what it is you are dealing with. From there you can develop specific strategies to handle the abuser more effectively.

For additional information, you may wish to explore the book entitled "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout, Ph.D.