There are many situations where you may need to contact a private investigator or go to a surveillance store and consider buying their products in order to safeguard your interests during your divorce.
This could arise, for example, in a situation where, like me, you did not receive exclusive use of the house and/or your ex is not decent enough to leave and live elsewhere. Then he decides to use his access to the house in order to harass and bully you.
I started to consider these options when my ex put nails in the tires of my car when I parked it in the garage. Also, he was sabataging our heating system and our air conditioning system in the basement. Furthermore, he systematically removed any property that wasn't nailed down from our house, including valuable paintings and art objects.
So, here is the story, as soon as you file for divorce, or even well before, take photographs of everything that you own in order to document they exist. Then have your lawyer send copies of the photos to the opposing attorney at the beginning of the action in order to obtain mutual confirmation of the existence and location of these items.
Also, remember the nanny cam with the camera in the teddy bear? If you suspect that your ex is doing things behind your back, order a few of those nanny cams online and place them strategically around the house. If you can catch your ex doing this kind of garbage on video, then you can protect yourself.
Always carry a tape recorder on you and switch it on whenever your ex is near you. Perhaps all he ever says is junk, but you want to be ready if he makes a statement you can use. Such tape recordings are ordinarily not admissible in court, and because of the iffy legality of making such tape recordings, be sure to consult with an attorney regarding how you go about it. However, tape recordings can be quite influential with your attorney and any other interested parties, such as the GAL, outside of court. And some of the most important negotiations you will be involved in take place outside of court.
Of course, with all of these things you have to keep in mind that your ex could do the same to you. I heard of one woman whose ex put a listening device in her car. I have also heard of a woman whose ex listened into all her conversations on the house phone and tape recorded them. So whatever you do or say, be sure you behave, because if you don't you might regret it later. Always assume you are being watched and recorded and behave as if you are always under observation. That way, you won't make any mistakes.
When it comes to surveillance, you can really take it as far as you feel it necessary to go in order to protect yourself and make sure the truth comes out in your case. Go to a surveillance store and look at the products they have available. Talk to a private investigator and see what they are capable of doing. Don't end up suffering because you didn't take the chance and use your opportunities when you could and now no one believes you.
This could arise, for example, in a situation where, like me, you did not receive exclusive use of the house and/or your ex is not decent enough to leave and live elsewhere. Then he decides to use his access to the house in order to harass and bully you.
I started to consider these options when my ex put nails in the tires of my car when I parked it in the garage. Also, he was sabataging our heating system and our air conditioning system in the basement. Furthermore, he systematically removed any property that wasn't nailed down from our house, including valuable paintings and art objects.
So, here is the story, as soon as you file for divorce, or even well before, take photographs of everything that you own in order to document they exist. Then have your lawyer send copies of the photos to the opposing attorney at the beginning of the action in order to obtain mutual confirmation of the existence and location of these items.
Also, remember the nanny cam with the camera in the teddy bear? If you suspect that your ex is doing things behind your back, order a few of those nanny cams online and place them strategically around the house. If you can catch your ex doing this kind of garbage on video, then you can protect yourself.
Always carry a tape recorder on you and switch it on whenever your ex is near you. Perhaps all he ever says is junk, but you want to be ready if he makes a statement you can use. Such tape recordings are ordinarily not admissible in court, and because of the iffy legality of making such tape recordings, be sure to consult with an attorney regarding how you go about it. However, tape recordings can be quite influential with your attorney and any other interested parties, such as the GAL, outside of court. And some of the most important negotiations you will be involved in take place outside of court.
Of course, with all of these things you have to keep in mind that your ex could do the same to you. I heard of one woman whose ex put a listening device in her car. I have also heard of a woman whose ex listened into all her conversations on the house phone and tape recorded them. So whatever you do or say, be sure you behave, because if you don't you might regret it later. Always assume you are being watched and recorded and behave as if you are always under observation. That way, you won't make any mistakes.
When it comes to surveillance, you can really take it as far as you feel it necessary to go in order to protect yourself and make sure the truth comes out in your case. Go to a surveillance store and look at the products they have available. Talk to a private investigator and see what they are capable of doing. Don't end up suffering because you didn't take the chance and use your opportunities when you could and now no one believes you.
Good, sound advice, Cathi. I especially like this part:
ReplyDeleteAlso, remember the nanny cam with the camera in the teddy bear? If you suspect that your ex is doing things behind your back, order a few of those nanny cams online and place them strategically around the house. If you can catch your ex doing this kind of garbage on video, then you can protect yourself.
I wouldn't recommend putting it in the teddy bear though.
Jeannie Goldstein
Divorce Saloon
I think the teddy bear is too obvious, but if you go to websites that sell nanny cams, they have them in clock radios, back packs, any number of seemingly innocuous items. They aren't overly expensive either, so it is worth getting a view. If you can catch your ex red handed doing these kinds of illegal activities, I think you will be in pretty good shape.
ReplyDelete