NEVER TAKE "NO' FOR AN ANSWER!

I was sitting around with my kids the other day having a nice chat and my daughter, Marianne, took that as an opportunity to say to me, "The one thing I really like about you is that you are so smart and you never take "no" for an answer!"  


Of course, the smart thing goes without saying, ah hemm, but the other thing about never taking "no" for an answer
-- that delighted me.  If there is one thing I would like to be known for it is for never giving up, never shutting up, and never putting up.  And if that is the one quality that my daughter takes away from having known me as a mother, well, I'd be so proud of that.  It's the one great skill you need in life in order to survive.  If someone asked me, what is the one skill you'd like to have if you were stuck on a desert island, it would be that one.  


And, by the way, this is the one skill that lawyers learn in the course of acquiring their professional capabilities.  They learn that when you fail, you just fall back, recoup, and try again.  When you miss out on one angle, just try another, and another and another.  Never give up, never admit defeat, just keep on trying.  Keep on asking those questions and challenging the procedures until you get your way, no matter how bad the situation looks, or how impossible.  


And where does this philosophy arise from?  It arises from the fact that every time I pick up the phone to get something done, 80% of the time people tell me "no".  Why?  Because "no" is more fun to say than yes.  Because it shuts you up.  Because ha ha I can get in your way and stop you I'm so powerful and there is nothing you can do about it!
But if I keep on reviewing the procedures, and asking questions about how those procedures are carried out, 80% of the time I am able to change a "no" to a "yes" sometimes just by mere persistence.  


For example, today I called and made an objection to a document a clerk had written up for my case.  As I went point by point through the document and called into question specific parts I disliked, the clerk insisted there was nothing I could do about it.  Refusing to take no as an answer I asked, where are the guidelines to writing this document?  What protocol are you using to deny my request?  He told me that it was a special internal protocol they use in his department to prepare the document.  I answered, you know I don't want to hear that.  Even he, just listening to himself, knew how ridiculous his answer was.  Finally, he acknowledged that some of the protocol came from the 2010 Practice Book, and then he provided me with an alternative approach I could use in order to give him an additional opportunity to reconsider my objections, and then he gave me even more information on what kind of motion I could use to officially protest if he turned me down.  I hung up the phone and immediately followed his advice.  And it was all very amicable.  I think, in fact, he kind of enjoyed a challenging conversation.  


Also, sometimes the "no" is solely in my own head and not in the other person's head.  For example, in a particular situation I might have read that there was some rule that had to be followed or a deadline had to be met at a particular agency, but when I actually asked the person responsible, that person immediately cancelled the rule and/or broke the deadline requirement just because I asked or because he or she decided I was a really nice person and why not and had the power to make the change.  


I can recall I had a situation where I had a court document due on a particular day and I worked on it all day until just before five to get it in.  Then I made a panicked phone call to the clerk and asked if I could fax the document in.  He said no they don't accept faxed documents, but after I became totally upset and expressed how absolutely appalled I was by that, he shifted gears and said he would be delighted to extend my deadline for a few days.  All of a sudden a no became a yes, and I didn't even do anything spectacular to get it!  


The bottom line is most people say "no" because they are bored, they are having a bad day, it's easier, why the heck not, please leave me alone and let me obstruct you, for any number of reasons.  Your job is to pester them into changing their minds.  Pester is the operative word and it works.  Yes, you may fail, but it won't be for lack of trying, and not trying, that is the worst sin of all.