THE MALE ADVANTAGE

I was just driving my daughter to school this AM doing the usual.  You know, did you remember your math homework?  And what about your clarinet, did you remember your clarinet.  Now, I want you to work hard today, none of that bothering your neighbors that Mrs. Smith talked to me about at the last parent teacher conference.  Have you been working hard?  I expect you to work hard.  Bye, sweetheart, you wonderful sweet thing.  Have a nice day!  Mommy loves you, cutie pie!  I see that smile!  

Anyway, as I was driving home, I was half listening to 101.3 on the radio and as the conversation continued, I began to pay more and more attention, half laughing and half groaning.  What was happening was two of the radio announcers, one a man and one a woman, had called up a flower shop and done a scam on the sales lady and were now playing it for all it was worth.  

The lady announcer called first and ordered a $300.00 bouquet for what she said was her dead grandfather's funeral.  Then, a few minutes later, the guy announcer called and said he was outraged by the big bill and cancelled the order.  To start with the sales lady was very appropriate and said, "No, I can't cancel this order since you weren't the one who originally made it."  She also said, she would not let him have the details of the order, such as the price, since he wasn't the one who originally made it.  

The sales lady and the guy radio announcer went back and forth until the lady announcer got on the phone and started to argue with the guy announcer while they pretended to be a married couple disputing over this flower arrangement.  The guy announcer kept on saying, cancel the order, while the gal announcer kept on saying no, go ahead with the order, sometimes both speaking at the same time and swearing at each other.  

Meanwhile, the sales lady is saying, I really don't know what to do, could you tell me what you want me to do?  I have other customers that I have to deal with."  Finally, as the arguing continued, the sales lady said, "Why don't I hold your order, and why don't you folks make up your mind and call me back when you know what you want to do."  

Then the lady announcer was like, "Are you saying you aren't going to fill the order because my husband is disagreeing with me.  It's my order and I say go ahead with the order!" And the guy announcer goes, "Yeah, that's right, cancel the order." And the sales lady says, "Well, unless you guys agree, I can't go ahead with this order."  And the lady announcer was like, "What, are you saying that because he is a man, you are going to just cancel this order even though I said go ahead with it." And the sales lady responded, "Unless you guys can make up your minds, I can't follow through on this order." which is another way of saying, well, yes, she wasn't going to follow through on the lady announcer's order unless the supposed husband, the guy announcer agreed to it.

What I heard going on, and what you have just witnessed through my description of it, is what I would characterize as The Male Advantage.  If the guy in the marriage says it ain't happening, it ain't happening.  

I've had this occur, for example, when I was trying to get landscaping work done on my house before my divorce.  Once I went through a whole discussion with a service man on getting the bushes around our house cut, but when my husband came out and said, "I'm not paying for that." the man got back in his truck and left  in five minutes saying, "Call me when you have worked it out."  

In any dispute, in any disagreement, as far as Joe Public is concerned, the man's voice is the only voice that matters.  The same thing happens in legal disputes, in therapy sessions, if you as a woman state there is a problem, that is ho humm, but if the man says there is a problem, we better straighten up and deal with it or else.  

It's the male advantage. It exists because the world is full of sexist bums. It is here to stay, and we women have to deal with it, whether we like it or not.