THE IMPORTANCE OF STORY

The most important lesson I've learned about what goes on in court is that one of the most important factors influencing whether you win or lose is that of story. The person who can tell the best, most credible story in court is the one who wins regardless of whether there is any truth in it or not.

Of course, it's not really truth I'm talking about, so much as I am talking about the version of events that sooner or later takes over a case like a virus and starts to produce numerous inconvenient offspring in the form of multiple court decisions that go for or against you, etc.

So, it is worth reflecting, before you knock on an attorney's door. Can you say you know what your story is? Can you answer questions such as: How did you get married? What were the conflicts that broke up your marriage? Who is responsible for doing what in the breakdown of your marriage? How do you characterize yourself? How do you characterize your ex husband?

Stand up on a chair and practice telling your story to a fake audience. How does it sound? Think hard, because this is how people will understand you from now on. Well, all I can say is, if you have trouble believing it, how do you think the judge will feel, the custody evaluator, or the GAL? If the devil's advocate were sitting in front of you snearing away and laughing at your story, how would you respond? Are you prepared with answers?

Before you are done with your divorce and the aftermath of your divorce, you and your attorney are going to have to repeat that story several times and on many different levels, so get comfortable with it now. Think over your story, do some editing, clarify more, make it more understandable. Now get on your chair again and repeat it. How does it sound now?

Do you have documentation to back up your story? Do you have witnesses who will corroborate your story? Again, you are going to be living with this story for a long time, so make sure it is solid. Is it simple and easy to remember?

Story, narrative appeal, an explanation of your life that makes your audience laugh and cry, one that is unforgettable, and sympathetic. I'm not saying lie. I know it may appear that I am because I'm so cynical about what goes on it court. What I am saying is make the truth of your story evident to others so that it appears in your remarks, in your letters, in your motions to the court, and takes over the initiative in your case.